Aussies are done with dating apps, here’s where they’re meeting instead
From quirky meet-up groups to the run club phenomenon sweeping TikTok, the death of the dating app has spawned a wealth of new options for hopeful singles.
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A retro dating trend has exploded in Australia to the delight of hopeful singles.
More than a decade since Tinder became a global phenomenon, altering the face of modern courtship — and bringing a host of terrifying new dating woes with it — finding a potential love match on an app has lost its sheen.
Just ask Diana Nikolic, who has become a regular at CitySwoon’s Adelaide speed dating events, having attended around 12 in total.
“Some nights I don’t come away with any dates, but other nights I have had one or two follows ups,” Ms Nikolic, 36, told The Advertiser.
“Either way it’s always a fun night out, and you don’t end up spending all this time talking and trying to arrange a catch up and all the effort that comes with dating apps.”
Similarly, Vivienne Holloway, 44, has become a fan of speed dating for the sense of connection — not just romantic — it has provided.
While she admits it can be nerve-racking, she’s optimistic the “single crew” she’s formed are on the right track.
“It’s been great for the single ladies I’ve been able to meet. Now we go to the events together and go out for a bit of a dance afterwards which makes it more fun and less daunting.”
Another CitySwoon customer Charlie Reed, 44, said before speed dating he’d never been able to get past “fancy going out for a coffee” on the apps.
“I’ve never had any success on various dating apps … I’ve had a few dates from speed dating but I still haven’t found ‘the one’ … The search continues,” he said.
They’re far from the only people switching off from endless swiping.
Adelaide dating and relationship coach Karina Chapman said there were myriad reasons dating apps were on the out, many of which involved digital safety.
“So many are turning away from apps because of an increased number of fake dating profiles, fear of being scammed financially and emotionally, and being catfished,” she said.
“There’s also too much time wasted chatting to matches without any result and repeated experiences of getting excited to meet someone only to discover they are boring in person, or repeatedly cancel, or they’re not who they say they are.”
She anticipated a continued downward spiral unless these issues were addressed by app creators.
Meanwhile, clinical counsellor Ronald Hoang said the real problem with apps was they “don’t allow for an authentic representation”.
“In real life there’s no buffer, you can’t spend your time curating and considering how you might respond to someone.
“It’s there and in the moment and that is the authentic experience people are looking for.”
Covid lockdown was a major contributor to dating app fatigue, Mr Hoang said, with a craving for human interaction prompting trends like speed dating and meet up groups reclaimed in the quest for love.
In recent months, TikTok creators have even dubbed run clubs the new Tinder.
Run club romance: Is it real?
Locky Warner, founder of Adelaide’s Social Run Co, agreed with the viral Gen Z claims, and is “confident” there’s been some pre and post-run catch ups around his 8am Somerton Park Sunday meet up.
Mr Warner, who started the group in 2021, puts it down to “like-minded people” connecting in a casual environment.
“If you’re going to a running club or even gym, you’re finding much more like-minded people who you will therefore have more in common with … as well as being fit and healthy.
“Dating apps, not having used one in 10 years, are pretty hit and miss,” he mused.
“Who knows what you’re gonna get? Whereas a running club … you kinda get a good gauge on what someone is like. (You’re know they’re) committed because they’re getting up early, they’re focused on their health, and there’s generally a bit of banter at the runs,” he said, adding that the endorphins released during a run are guaranteed to put you in a good mood for meeting new people.
Similarly, organisers of PACE Run Club in Henley Beach, Domenic Scopelliti and Alessio Rapetti, have noticed members “running a little extra weekly to see that special someone” since the trend gained traction.
If sweating it up on a run to meet someone sounds like your idea of hell, there are other options available in Adelaide.
Date Night Adelaide’s sellout events
Content creator and local foodie Rylee Cooper, 24, of Date Night Adelaide, has been making waves via her sellout events in recent months.
From hosting get-togethers in stylish bars to fresh faced morning hikes, she’s tapped in to Adelaide’s meet-up market through her 37.3k followers, with a recent event at Bank St Social reaching capacity moments after tickets went on sale.
Speaking to The Advertiser, she said her goal is not to frame events as strictly romantic, taking the pressure off in an environment designed to elicit fun banter above all else.
“I kind of remove the constraints, remove the intimidation, while still letting people vibe with each other, because at the end of the day, the whole idea behind the event is to take away the barriers to why you wouldn’t usually approach people in real life,” she explained, adding that “people knowing what they’re there for” fosters an instant sense of ease.
“It was really important to me that it felt natural that people still had the opportunity to talk to people. I can’t hold your hand.”
When signing up for Ms Cooper’s events, there are three options: lovers, friends or either.
“We pretty much have an even split between them at each event, so there’s a pretty good balance of people who are open to anything, looking for friends or people looking for romantic connections.”
Ms Cooper — who is hosting another meet up at the Lady Daly Hotel in March, and planning a future “Puppies and Pinot” event for dog lovers — is excited about the shift away from dating apps she’s noticed.
“People seem to be more open to meeting new people and reconnecting in a real life way after sitting in front of the screen all day.
“I feel like since Covid, we’ve realised human interaction is super important, you can’t live without it.
“I think there is a risk involved to meeting people in real life, there’s this feeling of the unknown and that push and pull of conversation is super fun.”
Touching on the appeal of running and hiking clubs as a way to meet people, she said there’s a “psychology” aspect whereby it feels less daunting to speak to someone alongside you than sitting across from them in a restaurant.
“When you’re running or walking or driving together, you’re side-by-side, so psychologically you feel safer, less confronted and locked in like an interview.”
She said for her hike meet ups, she often has the hardest part of the track at the beginning to encourage participants to talk more on the way down.
“If you don’t find someone you like and want to talk to, either way, you’re moving your body and you can just focus on the activity,” Ms Cooper said.
Love at First Joke: Speed dating with a comedy twist
Something a little left of centre awaits at this “comedy game show”, which matches singles using the power of laughter.
Previously held at Rhino Room, the improv game show sees participants pulled on stage — blindfolded, alone or with friends — as three comedians riff off prompts from the audience including cheesy pick-up lines, petty break up reasons and silly date scenarios.
Event producer Zain Seven told The Advertiser the hilarity and chaos makes for flirty connections in between segments, and at the end when people stick around and debrief.
To encourage connections beyond the night, organisers hand out date vouchers to those who take the stage.
“The crowd really gets involved in it, and everybody gets to experience the joy together,” Mr Seven, who also dabbles in date coaching, said.
He’s even had 2022 Bachelor winner Leah Cummings come alone to an event.
Here’s a taste of what an event looks like:
Mr Seven formed the show to bring something “totally different” to the Adelaide dating scene — which he claims is “skewed” on the apps because “women are much more picky about men” than they would be in person.
“Physical attraction doesn’t last very long,” he said.
“It’s the connection, the energy, if it matches, and if people have like minded things to talk about, or something in common, that goes a long way.”
Linea Dating offering a ‘cool’ take on the trend
“A dating event that doesn’t take itself too seriously,” is Linea’s appeal, offering a chance to meet and chat in an environment that feels relaxed and not “daggy”.
“We’re quite playful in our brand. A little bit cheeky, but never sleazy or crass,” co-founder Angelique Pierce explained.
“We wanted people to feel that when they walked in the door, so we greet them straight away and make them feel comfortable immediately.
“It’s about making people feel at ease.”
The last event, held at Dolly in Unley, was a hit.
“We wanted it to be cool, vibrant, where cool people are gonna come. And they did! Everyone was dressed so well and very open and friendly. They were all there for the same reason and that really came across,” Ms Pierce said.
“It really feels like people are over the apps, speed dating events like ours are going to burst this year, it’s going to be a gamechanger.”
Linea gives every participant the chance to meet and chat, but the format may change depending on the numbers at the next event.
For Ms Pierce, 43, dating apps had become an endless game of mindless swiping, and she is thrilled to see a shift towards in-person dating methods.
In fact, she recently bumped into a former app match at a run club herself.
CitySwoon
One of the staples of Australian speed dating, CitySwoon hosts regular events for ages 28-59 across Adelaide, from Wassail Wine Bar in Prospect to Distill and the Biblioteca Bar & Book Exchange in the CBD.
It comprises a series of quick-fire date rounds selected by an algorithm based on a profile you fill out prior to attending.
A tailored CitySwoon app connects your profile to the person you’re meeting, with an alert sent when it’s time for your date.
Chief Operations Officer Chris Marnie said the demand for events had doubled this year, with people in their 20s inquiring about options for their age group more than ever before.
“There’s been an explosion in popularity since about May 2022,” he said.
“During the pandemic, uni students didn’t have the option to meet people at bars. The dating apps were the only interactions they had and the only avenue of meeting someone and they just lost their appeal after all that time staring at a screen.
“Dating is also expensive, and people are time poor,” he explained.
“This way you can meet eight people in a night rather than going on eight dates over a period of a few months, which would cost you hundreds.”
He said there was “too much choice” on apps, leaving people with decision fatigue.
“I call it the supermarket effect, when you’re standing in an aisle of bread and you either come out with several loaves of bread of different brands, or you’re so overwhelmed you come out with none.”
Speed Dating Australia
Another classic on the scene, Speed Dating Adelaide follows the traditional speed dating format, promising upwards of 15 mini dates in an evening.
Locations include The Jade, Mississippi Moon and the Rob Roy Hotel. Age limits start from 23 and go up to 54 depending on the event.
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