‘None of it was for him’: Bizarre details of Prince Harry’s sad 40th birthday emerge

The Duke of Sussex marked his milestone 40th birthday having reverted to a strange former habit – and it painted a pretty gloomy picture.

How would you imagine that the son of a king spends his birthday?

With champagne and billionaires, titans, powerhouses, CEOs and Names?

Yes, that’s exactly how Prince Harry, the Duke of Sussex spent the Saturday night of the weekend he turned 40, enjoying some lovely fizz and hobnobbing away.

Only none of it was for him.

As the final hours of Harry’s turbulent 30s drew to a close, the royal exile was at a bash for producer Tyler Perry’s 55th birthday – and pictures of the duke from the night tell something of a gloomy story.

At around 11pm, only an hour before the clock ticked over to his actual 40th birthday on Sunday, there he was with his beaming wife Meghan, the Duchess of Sussex leaving Perry’s soiree – and what do you think he was doing? Counting his blessings, checking on his millions, mournfully mulling over having been blocked from the Balmoral group chat?

Nope.

He appeared to be filming the waiting photographers outside Perry’s front gates while simultaneously giving Zeus a thundercloud-y run for his money.

Oh, Harry. Is this how he ever thought he would spend his milestone birthday?

As the final hours of Harry’s turbulent 30s drew to a close, the royal exile was at a bash for producer Tyler Perry’s 55th birthday. Picture: BackGrid

Harry appeared to be filming the paparazzi as he left the party. Picture: BackGrid

Not being feted and celebrated and adored at his own shindig (maybe with some sort of marquee erected over the Sussexes’ vast lawns, gift bags full of man beads and home-fermented kimchi), not anywhere near his possibly irrevocably estranged family and not seeming to be able to let go of his obsession with the media.

The picture gets grimmer.

There have not been any smoke signals or leaked suggestions that his father King Charles, who is said to have stopped taking his son’s calls earlier this year, reached out privately. (By contrast, when Charles turned 75 last year, People somehow learnt that the Sussexes’ young children, Prince Archie and Princess Lili, had sung Happy Birthday via video for their stranger of a grandfather. The lack of similar titbits coming out is worth noting).

“The palace has not said whether Charles contacted Harry on his birthday,” the Daily Beast’s Tom Sykes reports, “but it is understood William and Kate did not reach out in person”.

Meanwhile, the public birthday good wishes sent by Prince William and Kate, the Prince and Princess of Wales were missing something quite major, thus making the whole endeavour feel about as genuine as a Louis Vuitton handbag spelt with three Ts.

While the King and the Waleses all publicly wished him a happy birthday on social media for the first time since 2021, their posts were the very definition of rote.

🎂 Wishing The Duke of Sussex a very happy 40th birthday today! pic.twitter.com/sAlSiV9EaZ

— The Royal Family (@RoyalFamily) September 15, 2024

Despite both the official Buckingham and Kensington Palaces’ social media accounts posting on Harry’s day, “an official source in the King’s office sought to downplay the significance of the message sent by the King,” the Beast reports.

Meanwhile, conspicuously missing from William and Kate’s post were the “W + C” initials they regularly use to denote a personal message.

The slimmest of slim possibilities that the Duke of Sussex might use any future private conversations with his father or brother for another book or a TV project has been previously raised as one of the reasons that the royal family is not exactly champing at the handmade bit to do any sort of reaching out in the direction of Montecito.

The Duke of Sussex has now officially entered his fifth decade, and it was not so much with a bang as a frowny face and a dash of glum.

Earlier this month, there had been some obviously unfounded speculation that Meghan might throw her husband some sort of bash to mark his birthday.

Clearly not.

On Saturday night, not only the Sussexes but Oprah Winfrey, Gayle King, Paramount CEO Brian Robbins and his wife Tracy were in Montecito for Perry’s 55th birthday party.

Oprah Winfrey and Gayle King also attended Perry’s bash. Picture: BackGrid

Hopefully Harry had a wonderful time mingling and snorking down all the mini burgers he could get his hands on while a room full of entertainment sorts relentlessly networked and compared Burning Man notes. But whatever fun the duke might have been having appeared over when it came time to motor off, with him spending some of the last minutes of his 30s seemingly recording the waiting press at the end of Perry’s drive.

Harry has done this before.

In May 2023, during the evening when the Sussexes were caught up in what they termed a “near catastrophic” paparazzi chase (recollections may vary, to blatantly plagiarise Buckingham Palace), he recorded the pack of photographers who thronged around a taxi they briefly travelled in.

Maybe he’s just working on a contemporary installation piece that challenges viewers to

consider their meta-textual relationship with the camera lens. Or maybe he’s a man whose life has been indelibly affected by the media and now can’t quite let go of his intense dislike of the Fourth Estate, even when there are photographers in a totally predictable place.

What might Harry do with the footage? Who knows, but the very fact he appeared to be doing it hardly suggests he’s a man boundlessly focused on the future and brimming with possibility, but rather one hooked on his age-long loathing of snappers.

The phrase that has been used to describe how Harry spent his actual birthday, and which keeps cropping up, is “low-key”.

There had been rumours Meghan might throw her husband a big 40th. Picture: Supplied

Maybe the duke didn’t want to go to the bother and the expense of throwing a vast, catered party and having to spend the early hours of his birthday pulling a boozed James Corden out of a bush. Or maybe, the topography of his private life has shifted so dramatically since Megxit that hosting dozens of friends, as he did for his 30th, is no longer an option.

“This will be a special occasion, but not over-the-top and with the people he really counts as close friends,” one source told Vanity Fair’s Katie Nicholl last week. (You have to wonder how many “close friends” he actually has these days).

According to this unnamed chum, the princely TV producer is “happier than ever”.

“He’s living the life he always wanted to live away from the media at home, and he’s really happy,” the close friend said.

“He and Meg are really content, the relationship is good, and he loves how they are raising their kids in the sunshine and without too much pressure.”

All of which sounds idyllic and like the mood board for an electric SUV commercial, but doesn’t quite jibe with him appearing to feel the need to film the paparazzi outside someone else’s house and at someone else’s event.

At least he has Meghan and his kids and all of that sunshine. And who knows, Harry’s artsy Venice Biennale entry might not be that far off. Much, much stranger things have already happened.

Daniela Elser is a writer, editor and a royal commentator with more than 15 years’ experience working with a number of Australia’s leading media titles

Originally published as ‘None of it was for him’: Bizarre details of Prince Harry’s sad 40th birthday emerge