Bali bombing 20th anniversary: Survivor Lisa Sandher reflects on missed milestones with girlfriends
Celebrating their 30th birthdays in Bali was supposed to be a trip of a lifetime for five best friends. But it ended in tragedy at Sari nightclub. Twenty years on, survivor Lisa Sandher tells her story.
St George Shire Standard
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When Lisa Sandher turned 50 this year she could not help thinking about how her best friends who were killed in the horrific Bali bombings would never reach the milestone.
They never turned 31, returned to Australia, or had children.
Instead, all Ms Sandher has left are her memories of the celebratory 30th girls trip to Bali in 2002 before it turned to tragedy.
Twenty years on, Mrs Sandher wants to talk about her girlfriends who died - Francoise Dahan, Renae Anderson and Simone Hanley - so they are remembered as the “super fun, gorgeous girls” she knew as “sisters”.
“It makes me sad that my friends are missing milestones like turning 50,” she said. “I don’t want them to be forgotten.
“I want people to know how great they were and remember what they were like.”
Ms Sandher, who lives in Burraneer Bay, said she felt a “mix of emotions” ahead of the 20th anniversary on October 12.
“I am in disbelief it has been 20 years,” she said. “I am grateful I got out and survived.
“It was a sliding doors moment for me but I feel sadness for my friends and their families. It was a day that changed the path of my life and a lot has happened in the past 20 years.
“The anniversary takes me back to that day and makes me reflect and think about what happened. I think about my girlfriends a lot.”
Ms Sandher said she still suffered PTSD from the attack, was fearful of terrorist attacks and had anxiety when travelling - but it did not stop her from living her life.
She first returned to Bali on the one year anniversary, attending a large memorial service before visiting again in 2012.
Ms Sandher has been back five times but does not travel to Kuta because the memories and trauma are too painful.
But instead, she spends time with her husband Matthew and daughters Talia Rose and Maya, creating new memories rather than focusing on the horrible ones she experienced in 2002.
Talia Rose has the same middle name as her best friend Francoise.
Ms Sandher said becoming a mother helped her move on with her life because she became busy with her children.
The group of girlfriends, which also included fellow survivor Penny Morse (nee Butler), grew up together, went to Jannali High School, and Ms Sandher and Ms Dahan went to the same university, with all living in the Sutherland and Cronulla areas.
The clear memories from the night of the bombing will never leave Ms Sandher.
“It was our last night,” she said. “We weren’t going to go out because we had to check out and go shopping the next day but we ended up in Sari nightclub.
“I had been feeling unwell and had one drink before Penny and I left. We got ice-cream on the way and walked for about 10 minutes before we heard a bang. We ran to the hotel because we were scared.
“Then we heard another bang but we weren’t thinking anything like what happened could have happened.”
The women were first alerted to the explosions by one of the women’s boyfriends who called the hotel to find out if they were safe.
The pair went back to the nightclub but couldn’t get close before they went to the beach where victims were taken.
Ms Sandher and Ms Morse got into a car with a famous footballer and went to each hospital looking for their friends.
“We looked at many dead bodies, but people didn’t look the same. They were burnt and swollen,” she said. “It was awful. There was also a language barrier. We hadn’t slept. The whole time we were hopeful we would find them.”
They eventually found Ms Hanley at a military base and ripped up sheets and helped bandage her wounds.
Mrs Sandher recalls fainting but spoke with Ms Hanley, who was asking about their friends. She told her they would find them.
But Ms Anderson and Ms Dahan were too close to the blast and died in the nightclub.
Ms Hanley was evacuated to Perth but tragically succumbed to her injuries two months later.
Ms Sandher and Ms Morse were left to pack up their friends belongings at the hotel.
“We didn’t know what to do,” she said. “We were in shock and wanted to go home. We got on our flight and it was awful because we were not going home with our friends.”
Ms Sandher went to counselling for some time after the attack to deal with her “survivors guilt”.
She felt she had a second chance at life and made changes that following year like leaving her marriage.
Mrs Sandher feels no ill will towards Bali nor the Balinese people, who she described as “beautiful”, but feels the judicial system is unjust.
She does not want to see convicted bombmaker Umar Patek released to parole, believing no one that “evil” could be reformed.
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