Texts give new fathers message of support
A WORLD-FIRST smartphone program for first-time fathers aims to guide men through the life-changing experience of having a child using a text format and humour.
Parramatta
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WE have all heard the stories about new mothers suffering the baby blues but what is not so well known is the depression many new fathers often go through too.
Research shows one in seven new dads experiences a high level of psychological distress while adjusting to fatherhood and one in 10 first-time fathers develops post-natal depression.
“We didn’t always know what was happening. I was depressed because the kid didn’t stop crying and I didn’t know why,” Westmead father Hiren Raj said.
Mr Raj and wife Unnati welcomed baby boy Shaurya into the world 10 months ago and not surprisingly their world has not been the same since.
The couple came to live in Australia from India 10 years ago and Shaurya was the first son in both their families for a generation.
“It was really good news,” Mr Raj said.
“But it is hard when you have your first child and there’s no help for dads, which I discovered when we had our child.
“We both realised we didn’t really know much and we didn’t know what we were supposed to do. Because our family was so far away we didn’t have that kind of support either.
“Then my mother passed away and I was also struggling with that. Sometimes you think you are not doing anything right.
“I was getting depressed, thinking I was a bad father, a bad husband.”
But help was at hand thanks to an Australian world-first text messaging system.
Brain child of Richard Fletcher and his team at the Faculty of Health and Medicine at Newcastle University, SMS4dads sends out short 160 character messages to help dads understand what is happening in their child’s and their lives.
“It’s a big change in your family when you have a baby and it’s hard to cope with. Dads often don’t have as much to do as the mums and it’s all about maternity services, not paternity. Dads know things have changed when a baby arrives but it can be a time of real confusion,” Dr Fletcher said.
“There are national programs for mums, which is as it should be, but there is next to nothing for fathers.”
With SMS4dads, messages arrive on dad’s smartphone as if they come from the baby, and they start even before birth.
The service sends messages with advice, practical information and a mood tracker that keeps track of each dad’s stress levels and mental health. Dads who consistently register a low mood receive a phone call from a professional and additional support.
It has a light hearted and funny side to it too, which helps take the pressure off dads. There are some amusing SMS messages about nappy dramas, food explosions, embarrassing situations and ways to support partners, written from the perspective of the baby.
“In my first year I’m going to triple my weight. Don’t let it happen to you,” is one of the messages, making the point that dads need to set some time aside for themselves and need to keep fit.
“Babies don’t cry because they are trying to ignore you,” is another, and each message has a link for more information.
Results of a national trial showed 92 per cent of participating dads found the service helpful.
“It has been a really great tool,” Mr Raj said.
“It helped me a lot and it also made me realise what I was going through was normal. The messages are helpful and you learn a lot and now I don’t feel depressed or useless. I am enjoying being a dad.”
Details: sms4dads.com
THE FACTS
● Each year there are more than 300,000 first-time dads in Australia
● One in seven new mums and one in 10 new dads experiences post-natal depression
● One in 20 first-time dads experiences anxiety or depression during the pregnancy
● Dads who have a partner with postnatal depression are 50% more likely to experience depression themselves
● 45% of new dads are not aware that men can experience postnatal depression; it’s not just women
● 43% of first-time dads see anxiety and depression after having a baby as a sign of weakness
● 44% of new dads surveyed by beyondblue did not seek information or support in stressful times.
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