Eating disorder sufferers plead: Just ask me how I feel

THESE people may not look like they have an eating disorder, but they do. Their stories are part of a photographic exhibition for Eating Disorder Awareness Month.

Jennifer Blau wanted to dispel the stigma surrounding eating disorders.

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THERE are not too many clues in Jennifer Blau’s photographic portraits that her subjects suffer from eating disorders.

The Mosman photo­grapher deliberately steer­ed clear of portraying a whole series of painfully thin people.

“I did not want to photograph the stereotypical images of skinny people,” she said.

“People with eating disorders can look normal, even overweight. I wanted to convey the message that it’s not how they look, it’s how they feel and for people to be sensitive to this.”

“When I felt my body was becoming a problem I dropped all this weight. I got down to 81 kilos but then found I just had to keep going. It was painful. I was getting all this guilt about eating.”

“I would tell myself, ‘No, don’t!’ and then the food would consume me and I would just continue eating because I knew I could get rid of it. It is important for me to be in touch with myself and happy with who I am.”

Hence the title of her portrait exhibition at Manly ­Library is Just Ask Me How I Feel.

It is a reference to one of her subjects, who said: “Please don’t comment on my weight. Just ask me how I feel.”

Blau was approached by the mental health association WayAhead to do the project and met her subjects through friends and the association.

“No one in my own family has been affected but I knew other friends whose children had been affected or who had been affected themselves,” she said.

“There is a bit of a stigma surrounding this issue, yet it is a prevalent mental health issue like depression and anxiety and it’s potentially more serious and has long-lasting negative consequences.

“When you are sick you perceive the comment that ‘you look healthy’ means you are fat. If others tell you that you look great it reinforces the dieting. I didn’t think I had anorexia because I was eating and I understood that people with anorexia didn’t eat at all. WRONG.”

“It started in Year 9 when I started having issues with friends and I felt worthless and I didn’t feel good about myself. My eating disorder took over my life and who I was so it was really controlling over me and I didn’t open up to my family. I still find it hard to open up.”

“Many people of normal weight have eating disorders like bulimia and binge eating but think they are OK because they compare themselves to the thin stereotypes.”

Each portrait is accompanied by comments by the subject.

“I started having difficulty with eating at 12. I was struggling with self-image and not happy with myself or the way I looked. I began not eating all day and bingeing at night. If I ate too much I would do massive amounts of exercise and then restrict what I ate the next day. I was diagnosed with an eating disorder, anxiety and depression at 15. I am now in remission.”

Blau specialises in documentary portraiture, including her series The Teenage Bedroom, and is studying for a masters degree in art therapy.

The exhibition is at Manly Library until Sunday as part of the Head On Photo Festival.

For more information go to: jenniferblau.com