Eastern suburbs women urged to seek help as domestic violence rates increase in Australia’s most affluent suburbs

WITH domestic violence rates in NSW climbing, even affluent areas are not immune to the trend with police in Sydney’s eastern suburbs saying it occupies plenty of time.

THE scourge of domestic violence continues to rise in some of Sydney’s most affluent suburbs, with Rose Bay police confirming it received up to two calls on the matter each day.

The latest Bureau of Crime Statistics and Research figures show the ratio of domestic assaults has increased annually in the Woollahra local government area since 2011.

The rate of domestic assaults per 100,000 people was 119 in 2011, 129.9 in 2012, 136.9 in 2013 and 166.7 in 2014.

Senior Constable Catherine Farrell from Rose Bay Police.

The figures have prompted police to urge the community not to turn a blind eye to the issue, which is rife statewide, even in the most affluent areas.

Rose Bay police’s domestic violence liaison officer, Senior Constable Catherine Farrell said domestic violence “is one of the higher reported crimes and takes up the most police time”.

Rose Bay command covers suburbs including Bellevue Hill, Darling Point, Double Bay, Dover Heights, Edgecliff, Point Piper, Rose Bay, Vaucluse, Watsons Bay and Woollahra.

In NSW, domestic violence is up 2.2 per cent over the 60 months to March, 2015, which has led police, former domestic violence victims and health advocates to warn it is rife, even in the most affluent areas.

“There is a perception that domestic violence occurs more in a lower socio-economic demographic and that is not true. It is comparable to other areas in Sydney,” Sen Const. Farrell said.

Sen Const. Farrell said it was partly because it was being reported more frequently.

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Brad Hodder, commander at Rose Bay Police has taken a zero tolerance approach.

Rose Bay commander Supt Brad Hodder said it occupied a lot of his time. “It is one of the more common things we deal with in this command and people need to be aware it will not be tolerated,” he said.

“We are pro-charging for domestic violence, at the very minimum we will give the person an apprehended violence order (AVO).”

The latest BOCSAR statistics for the March quarter show Blacktown had almost 2000 recorded domestic violence assaults in the year from March, 2014, while the eastern suburbs had 572.

While the rates in the east are far from the worst, it is a major concern for police.

Sen Const. Farrell said Waverley Court, which takes in Botany, Eastern Suburbs, Eastern Beaches and Rose Bay commands saw between 40 and 70 domestic violence hearings a week.

Sophie Farrell, safety action meeting co-ordinator for the Waverley Domestic Violence Court Assistance Scheme, said 1900 women had been referred to their program in the 10 months since its inception.

Every time police attend a domestic incident, female victims are referred to Ms Farrell’s team, which calls every victim and conducts a victims risk assessment.

Of the 1900 referrals, 393 were deemed to be at serious threat and had to undergo safety action meetings.

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These meetings are “for the most serious threat victims”, where they aim to improve a victim’s safety.

She said domestic violence was “about 40 per cent of police work, we get it across all different socio-economic groups”.

“The safety action meetings have been a really good development we are getting really good results, getting women rehoused, locks changed within a matter of hours, making sure kids are safe that they are aware of AVO conditions,” she said.

One victim, who was recently helped by Sen Const. Farrell and Rose Bay Command spoke about the stigma associated with domestic violence in the east.

“You don’t think this sort of stuff happens in higher socio-economic areas and this is the thing I really struggled with. I was bawling my eyes out I was so embarrassed, I hid it, I felt embarrassed, because this doesn’t happen in the eastern suburbs, is so degrading,” she said.

“But Catherine (Farrell) told me that it is very prevalent in affluent areas.”

AN EASTERN SUBURBS HORROR STORY:

Kay Schubach was a domestic violence victim and has wrote a book about the subject.

KAY SCHUBACH knows better than anybody that domestic violence doesn’t discriminate.

The eastern suburbs resident found herself in an abusive relationship in 2003 while living in Australia’s most affluent suburb, Point Piper.

She barely escaped from her two month affair with a man who is now serving a 12-year sentence for similar crimes.

She made a desperate dash to Rose Bay police station in the middle of the night after almost being smothered. She still remembers the stigmatising feeling before entering the police station.

“I didn’t want to go in. I was ashamed, it seemed so tawdry, my whole life had unravelled so quickly.”

Kay Schubach was a domestic violence victim and wrote a book about the subject.

The man swept her off her feet at a chance meeting and was soon living with her.

It started as a cycle of criticisms and isolation which led to physical abuse.

“He was assaulting me in the house, the car, driving my car almost into brick walls, screeching around streets ... it was just fever pitch,” she said. “He was trying to smother me. I had cold sores I got so run down. He dislocated fingers trying to get my phone, because if you get their phone then you have everything.”

She eventually made a statement to Rose Bay police but was later intimidated into retracting it.

Her experience of fear and shame led her to become an ambassador for Domestic Violence NSW.

“What I really want to get across is that it happens across all demographics,” she said. “It is very much the common misconception, that it only happens in lower socio-economic groups. But it knows no boundaries.”

She said there was an “enormous pressure to just keep up appearances” in the eastern suburbs that is not the same in other areas.

“I see all the mums dropping off their kids at school and it is all about keeping up appearance, and it is very hard to maintain the status quo,” she said.

“That is the social stigma and the shame in coming forward and admitting that your partner is violent and admitting that you have lost control and that the fairytale dream is not what it is supposed to be. That your marriage is falling apart.”

Ms Schubach penned a book called Perfect Stranger to help deal with the aftermath of her situation.

Please consider discussing with a friend or counsellor. Trained, discreet, professional counsellors can be contacted on 1800 RESPECT

RED FLAGS FOR ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS

Domestic violence is one of the most time consuming crimes for police. Picture: iStock

The following is “a list of warning signs for potentially abusive relationships. They are presented as guidelines and cues to pay attention to, not as judgments on the worth of the other person,” says Kay Schubach.

1. Jealousy: Is your partner unreasonably jealous of your friends family and colleagues and accuses you of flirting?

2. Isolation: Does your partner make it difficult for you to see friends and family or criticise them constantly making things awkward and uncomfortable when you do see them?

3. Surveillance: Does you partner monitor your phone, mileage or use any GPS tracking system to a degree that makes you feel constantly watched.

4. Criticism: Does your partner criticise you, your intelligence, your decisions, your weight, clothes, or the things you say or believe in?

5. Financial Control: Does your partner take money from you, or control the money you have access to or constantly question your spending habits?

6. Personal Boundaries: Does your partner intrude on places where you prefer to be without him/her e.g. Work, gym, hairdresser, doctor?

7. Drugs and Alcohol: Does your partner take or coerce you to take drugs or excessive alcohol?

8. Physical contact: Does your partner push shove slap or hit you or threaten to harm you, your friends, family, pets or your belongings

9. Gaslighting: Does your partner blame you for his/her behaviour or question your recollection of contentious events?

10. Temper: Do you or your family constantly feel like you’re “walking on eggshells” and kerb your own behaviour or that of the children, visitors for fear of upsetting your partner.

Any one of these indicates a threat to you and more than one can indicate you are in an abusive relationship. Please consider discussing with a friend or counsellor. Trained, discreet, professional counsellors can be contacted on 1800 RESPECT.