Child sex abuse victim-survivor Josh Byrnes opens up on offending by priest and trusted relative

Josh Byrnes was only 11 years old when his parish priest, who also happened to be his second cousin, began sexually abusing him.

Josh Byrnes was 11 years old when his second cousin, who was also his parish priest, started sexually and emotionally abusing him.

The abuse began in 1999 and continued until 2007 when he was 19.

In 2016, Josh went to the police and Father Dennis Byrnes pleaded guilty to two counts of aggravated sexual assault of a person under 16.

He was sentenced to six-and-a-half years in prison but was released on parole after three-and-a-half years in November 2022.

The priest would ask Josh how he “washed himself” and would ask him about his mental health.

“Dad was a bit absent … working a lot, working away a lot, travelling for work, so he took on a self-appointed mentor role I guess,” Josh says.

“So it started with these questions: ‘How do you wash yourself?’ ‘Show me if you have any rashes or anything’, ‘Let me know when you start puberty’, these sorts of things.”

Dennis would ask Josh about his mental health. Picture: Supplied

Josh’s now-wife Kelsey began putting together the clues that something may have happened. Picture: Supplied

It wasn’t until Josh began dating his now-wife Kelsey who began questioning why the priest avoided meeting her.

“I was like, ‘Oh no, it’s nothing, it’s just who he is’,” Josh says.

The couple had spent the day at the beach and Josh says he doesn’t know exactly what happened there but everything “just clicked” and when he came home he confessed to Kelsey.

“I was like: ‘Those questions you asked me, yeah something did happen’, and I told her and I told her parents and it went from there,” he says.

Josh Byrnes was sexually abused by his second cousin and parish priest Dennis Byrnes, who pleaded guilty to two counts of aggravated sexual assault of a person under 16. Picture: Supplied

Josh is still angry about what he’s gone through but is using his experience to advocate for other victim-survivors. Picture: Supplied

Josh says he is “still angry” about what happened to him and is “mad” that somebody feels the “entitlement” to “do this to a child”.

“I was taught to have a lot of respect for (him),” he says. “It was somebody that I was told had my best interests at heart.

“I am not ashamed to say that I think at some point, we did share love, as a father and son. I would rely heavily on his support through a few different emotional sort of episodes.

“Obviously, looking back, that was fabricated to suit him and to suit the narrative that he was doing.”

Despite understanding he had been sexually abused, Josh was very apprehensive to come forward.

“He was a man that essentially had set his life up to be this holier than thou sort of person that you see lecture people about the goodness of Christ,” he says.

He was worried about what his family would say, if they would be upset he didn’t “trust them”.

Josh was extremely apprehensive to come forward at first. Picture: Supplied

Experts have said discussions of victim-survivors need to include victim-survivors such as Josh and their experiences. Picture: Supplied

“The apprehension as well was around … I’m a straight man, what will people say about my sexuality?” he says.

“At the time, obviously my body did what bodies do in situations and people would say that if you kept going back for it and it kept happening then you must have liked it, or you got used to it to the point where arousal stuff occurred you must have liked it.”

Josh, who lives in Bungendore – a small town 25 minutes from Canberra – says he was nervous about the “small country town” mentality and people assuming he was coming forward for “clout”.

Originally published as Child sex abuse victim-survivor Josh Byrnes opens up on offending by priest and trusted relative