Monster meat feast defeats would-be conquerer

With deep fried patties, bacon, cheese, onion rings, loaded fries and shake, the Hikolestaroll challenge is enough to scare off even the hungriest adversary. Matty Holdsworth gave it a red hot crack after the ridiculous burger went viral. 

EVER get the feeling you've bitten off more than you can possibly chew? That was me yesterday.

I saw a viral sensation take off out of Mooloolaba's Wikid Fish n Chips Café, and thought it would be worth a story.

Next thing I know I'm being roped into tackling the beast.

 

Wikid Fish n Chips, Mooloolaba, has launched a mega, massive burger challenge on the coast. Journalist Matty Holdsworth takes up the challenge. .

The monster - dubbed the Hikolestaroll, is complete with deep fried patties, bacon, cheese and onion rings - on top of loaded fries and shake. It contains a ridiculous 5000 calories.

Owner Clint Northcott of Wikid Fish n Chips, Mooloolaba, has launched a mega, massive burger challenge on the coast. Photo Patrick Woods / Sunshine Coast Daily.

I was already starting to regret my decision when I went along to the Brisbane Rd business at 1pm.

It didn't help when I arrived, chef Clint Northcott half laughed at me for simply attempting it.

His laughter was not without good reason.

I'm 70kg wringing wet, hardly built to tame such a burger.

Now the challenge must be completed in a strict 20 minutes.

That's burger, chips and shake, the full nine yards.

If you fail you pay up the full $35.

Nevertheless, I gave it a red hot crack.

Wikid Fish n Chips Cafe have launched a mega, massive burger challenge on the coast. Photo Patrick Woods / Sunshine Coast Daily.

The burger was delicious. I'm a huge fan of sesame seeds, so the first third of the burger was a delight, bbq sauce, hint of spice, yum yum.

The chips were going down well too, but I forgot about the bloody milkshake.

Ten minutes in my jaw was getting tired but I'd devoured half of it, and was feeling pretty content. I could easily could have tapped out there.

But like the little engine that could, I chugged on.

Journalist Matty Holdsworth on struggle street.

I hit a wall when 13 minutes ticked over.

My stomach was aching, I had the meat sweats and still a small mountain to conquer.

I struggled on barely chewing for another three minutes but tapped out.

It defeated me. Even now, writing this I feel like a failure.

This challenge goes pound for pound with the likes of Kenilworth Bakery's iconic 1kg donut, Dirty Moes' philly sub, Hello Harry's fat bastard, and the soon to be launched STFU burger at Noosa's Ze Pickle.

Winning diners not only get a free meal but a certificate and go on the wall of fame.

Originally published as Monster meat feast defeats would-be conquerer