Paul Field: Dad’s face told me my baby girl had died
WHEN former Cockroaches lead singer Paul Field saw his father’s face, he knew something was very wrong. He was on tour in Queensland when the horrific call came in that would change his family’s life.
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WHEN former Cockroaches lead singer Paul Field saw his father’s face, he knew something was very wrong.
It was September 1988 and the popular pub rock band was on tour in Queensland. Field’s recently retired dad had joined them on a whim and the pair were sharing a hotel room when a horrific call came in from home.
“I was shaving in the bathroom and he came in and I could tell straight away something was wrong. He sat me down on the bed and said ‘Bernadette’s dead’,” an emotional Field recalled.
“I can’t actually remember much beyond him saying that but my brothers were in the room next door and heard me wail — like a real primeval groan.”
Bernadette was Field’s seven-month-old baby daughter who was staying with his wife Pauline and their two-year-old son Luke at his in-law’s home in Cessnock.
Pauline had discovered Bernadette’s lifeless body in her cot, a victim of one of the most insidious child killers — Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS).
In a cruel twist of irony, Pauline had been watching breakfast television on what was the first national Red Nose Day. As they sat and watched the hosts wearing the now familiar red noses, her father scoffed at their “silly” antics.
“She was talking with her dad who was saying ‘what are they doing, that’s a bit silly’. She literally went in from that comment to Bernadette,” Field said.
“From the time she walked in, as most parents would, she knew something was wrong. It was too quiet. She was just shrieking and picked Bernadette up and ran out saying she’s not breathing.”
With Pauline’s brother Chris behind the wheel, the family raced Bernadette to the local hospital but she had passed away during the night and couldn’t be revived.
An otherwise healthy seven-month-old baby, Bernadette had given no warning signs of the tragedy that was to come. She had woken in the early hours of that morning and flashed her trademark smile, the last her family would see.
“She was a happy little thing and so content — I don’t think she was sick for a day,” Field said.
“She woke up at about one in the morning and Pauline went in and she was just looking up at her smiling for God’s sake.”
Field and Pauline would speak regularly on the phone while on the road. Days earlier she had a surprise for him and put Bernadette on the phone.
“Her latest trick was saying ‘ta ta’ which she did for me, which is actually quite beautiful and also heartbreaking,” he said.
“She actually said goodbye to me — she said ‘ta ta’ in her beautiful little angel voice.”
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The former front man, who has been the long-time managing director of the Wiggles, the children’s entertainment juggernaut that stars brother Anthony, was back on the road again with the Cockroaches soon after Bernadette’s funeral.
It was a futile move aimed at pushing aside the profound grief that had consumed him, but everything soon came crashing down.
“It was one of those things back then — still is now — that blokes don’t seek help. Even myself, I was saying Pauline will need help. But hang on, I’m her father,” he said.
“I went back on the road in Queensland and I was just mentally imploding. I was in tropical Queensland and developed pneumonia. I was physically and mentally just falling apart.”
Such was their pain, Field and his wife thought they wouldn’t be able to pull themselves out of the downward spiral they found themselves in.
“We never thought we’d laugh again, we honestly never thought we’d be happy again,” he said.
“You feel like you actually can’t survive it, that you actually — it sounds weird — but that you might die yourself. The grief is so overwhelming.”
Both parents ended up seeking counselling — Pauline much sooner than her husband — and, together with the birth of their second daughter Clare and the need to ensure Luke was getting the love and attention he needed, they managed to pull themselves back from the brink.
The same people responsible for those red noses first seen on their most horrible day were an invaluable resource for the Fields as they dealt with Bernadette’s death.
The experience helped solidify a lifelong association between the family, The Wiggles and the Red Nose organisation that is working to fund research into this area.
More than 3200 babies — nine per day — still die unexpectedly each year in Australia. This number includes babies who have died from SIDS, still births and fatal sleep accidents. While Red Nose is working towards zero deaths, this is an 85 per cent decrease since Red Nose Day began 30 years ago — saving the lives of almost 10,000 babies.
The support of The Wiggles — through both Paul and Anthony Field — has been instrumental in raising awareness of SIDS and Red Nose Day over the years. With such a huge audience of parents who have kids in the age group they are trying to educate, they are the perfect voice to spread the message.
“It’ been invaluable because a group as synonymous with Australia like the Wiggles — everybody knows The Wiggles, everybody who’s had a child knows them and recognises them and there’s trust in there,” Red Nose’s Head of Health and Advocacy Jane Wiggill said.
“We’re so grateful to them for giving us their time and their energy. Their time is so limited, they’re absolutely stretched to the max, but they will always give us airtime. We’re extremely grateful to ambassadors like them.”
Ms Wiggill says all the money that is raised by Red Nose is put towards research. She says while there have been great developments in pinpointing risk factors in SIDS, it was still unknown what caused it.
But recent developments give Ms Wiggill great hope that we will see that number drop to zero in our lifetime.
“I really believe that is possible,” she said.
TO DONATE VISIT REDNOSEDAY.COM.AU