Labor leader Bill Shorten blames Sydney’s heat on the government’s lack of action on climate change
Bill Shorten believes Australian governments have magical planet-altering powers. “How hot does it have to get,” the Labor leader tweeted the other day, “before the current government does something on climate change?”
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Bill Shorten believes Australian governments have magical planet-altering powers.
“How hot does it have to get,” the Labor leader tweeted the other day, “before the current government does something on climate change?”
Beats me. We now await Shorten’s further demands:
How many pensioners must tumble before the current government does something on gravity?
How many earthquakes must happen before the current government does something on tectonic plate movement?
How many volcanoes must erupt before the current government does something on the earth’s molten core?
How many terrible injustices must occur in the past before the current government does something on history?
How many living creatures must perish before the current government does something on death?
Get cracking, Scott Morrison. You’ve got serious work to do. Meanwhile, ex-PM Tony Abbott faces an onslaught of independents during his campaign to retain the seat of Warringah.
Strange thing, though.
None of these independents seem very independent. In fact, they seem to be mass-produced anti-Abbott robots churned out by some kind of single-issue weather-obsessed candidate factory.
First up was boring feminist Jane Caro, who still hasn’t quite made up her mind about running. “It’s been nagging at me for a while,” she told an interviewer last year. “I worry about climate change and our lack of action.”
“I feel duty bound to do what I can to stop the climate deniers,” Caro continued online. Duty aside, her formal nomination is still pending.
Former SBS and ABC producer Susan Moylan-Coombs, who actually has nominated, also wants climate action. Nine media reported that the Aboriginal activist intends to pressure Abbott on climate change policy.
To be fair, Moylan-Coombs also wants to change the date of Australia Day. But the odds are that her fellow independents feel exactly the same way.
Next up, song and dance man Darryl Lovegrove. “Most people here believe climate change is real and that Australia must honour its commitments to massively reduce carbon emissions,” he said, announcing his own Warringah bid.
And now we’ve got former world champion skier Zali Steggall, presently working in Sydney as a barrister.
What might Steggall bring to the table? How might the 1998 Winter Olympics bronze medal winner distinguish herself from the welter of other Warringah independents?
“I am in this to win it,” Steggall told Nine media.
“I want to beat Tony Abbott, who has been a handbrake on Australian progress on many fronts but, particularly, effective action on climate change.”
She’ll also have to beat her fellow climate alarmists. Public debates among that lot should be interesting.
Still, who knew that one man and one electorate could so influence the planet’s temperature? How exactly does Abbott accomplish all of this weather-shifting from within his Warringah bunker?
I’ve known Tony for years and not once has he even hinted at his mysterious climate-controlling abilities. Perhaps the way Abbott pretends to be merely subject to the same weather conditions as the rest of us is merely a crafty smokescreen.
Luckily, former Climate Commissioner Tim Flannery is back on the scene to sort everything out.
The Gillard-appointed predict-o-matic, who warned in 2004 that global warming could turn Perth into “the 21st century’s first ghost metropolis”, has been enlisted by the Steggall campaign as an adviser on climate policies.
How stupid does it have to get before the current government does something on independents?
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