Kerry Parnell: Sex, drugs and rock’n’roll a guaranteed movie hit

Rock’n’roll biopics deliver everything you need in a movie — great soundtrack, crazy plot line and a satisfying rags to riches tale, Kerry Parnell writes.

You couldn’t make it up, which is probably why movie makers don’t, instead turning to music biopics for a sure-fire hit. Rock on, I say, it’s music to my ears. The more encores, the better.

Rock’n’roll biopics deliver everything you need in a movie – guaranteed good soundtrack, crazy plot line you wouldn’t believe if it didn’t have the “based on a true story” tagline at the start and a satisfying rags to riches tale. I never tire of watching the moment where the hopefuls get their big break, followed by the inevitable implosion.

You don’t even have to be a fan of the band to enjoy the biopic. Take for example, 2018’s Bohemian Rhapsody, which along with everyone else who paid for a ticket as opposed to the film critics who didn’t, I found moving and exhilarating, or 2005’s superb Walk The Line, with Joaquin Phoenix as Johnny Cash and Reese Witherspoon as June Carter.

It doesn’t matter if they’re a bit rubbish — Great Balls Of Fire, a bit loose with the truth — The Runaways, or even take place entirely before the protagonist makes it, England Is Mine about Morrissey. They all hit the right notes.

From Rocketman to 24 Hour Party People, La Vie en Rose to The Doors, Straight Outta Compton to Love And Mercy; I even got down with The Dirt. And no, I don’t like Motley Crue.

Sex Pistol singer Johnny Rotten (aka John Lydon) is the only person opposing an upcoming biopic TV series about the band.

So, I’m looking forward to the next batch of biopics, starting with Pistol, the TV series from Trainspotting director Danny Boyle, following the rise and fall of the Sex Pistols.

It’s based around guitarist Steve Jones’ autobiography and follows the formation of the band in London in 1975, reaching their zenith in 1977 with their God Save the Queen single released at the time of the Queen’s Silver Jubilee. Pistol, out in May, is pleasingly out in time for the Queen’s Platinum Jubilee and I guarantee she’ll care even less this time around.

The TV series will be based on the autobiography of Sex Pistols guitarist Steve Jones.

In fact, the only person who is outraged 45 years later is lead singer John Lydon, who isn’t having a bar of it — he tried and failed to stop the band’s music being used on the soundtrack.

Pistol is followed by Baz Lurhmann’s Elvis, starring Austin Butler as Elvis and Tom Hanks as Colonel Tom Parker, out in June and I Wanna Dance with Somebody, with Naomi Ackie as Whitney Houston, at Christmas.

After that, Timothee Chalamet is taking on Bob Dylan’s story, Kingsley Ben-Adir will play Bob Marley and Bradley Cooper is on board with director Kenneth Branagh for a biopic of the Bee Gees, following the hit documentary The Bee Gees: How Can You Mend a Broken Heart.

Sharon and Ozzy Osbourne are also bringing their Black Sabbath love story to the big screen. But like bat-biting Ozzy’s performance, you can expect a twist.

Austin Butler as Elvis and Tom Hanks as Colonel Tom Parker in Baz Lurhmann’s biopic Elvis. Picture: Hugh Stewart

“I don’t want to do another rock’n’roll, sex, drugs and money movie about a musician,” Sharon told Variety.

“That’s not what I’m doing. There hasn’t been a movie about a woman that actually works on the management side — that’s a true story — and somebody that succeeds through the struggle and you come out the other side.”

See, I said you couldn’t make it up.

For Harry to be a ‘hero’ he has to visit the Queen

Come on Harry, be a hero and visit your granny.

As Prince Harry prepares to launch his Invictus Games in the Netherlands, the big question is whether he’ll find time to pop over and see his rellies.

The long-postponed Invictus Games are taking place over Easter — kicking off on Saturday — after being delayed by the pandemic for two years.

But could this also be a chance to resurrect his relationship with his family?

Harry’s been Zooming in for team talks with Invictus competitors, joking around in a video call with British athletes, saying they had no excuses as they’d had two years to prepare.

“You realise that no one’s … got any excuses for not being fit now,” he said.

But Harry’s out of excuses too, after missing Prince Philip’s memorial on March 29. It’s time to park the principles, let go the grievances and whiz over to Windsor, for a real Easter treat.

Supplied Editorial Prince Harry in his latest promo for the Invictus Games. Picture: Supplied

It would be sweeter than any visit by the Easter bunny – especially if little Lilibet finally got to meet her namesake. After all, he and Meghan did name her in honour of her great-grandmother, who is the absolute archetype of a monarch – no trademark necessary.

It would be the ideal opportunity to pave the way for a harmonious family holiday in the UK for the Queen’s Platinum Jubilee in June. How can he miss that? It’s a milestone no British monarch has ever reached before and extremely unlikely any of us will see one reach again. And it’s not actually our granny who is celebrating.

Harry is rightly the champion of Invictus heroes, who give their all to achieve against the odds, determined never to give in. And doesn’t that resilience also apply to the Queen? The woman is a wonder, still working, still focused, still smiling as she faces her 96th birthday later this month.

It’s time for Prince Harry to visit his grandmother, Kerry Parnell writes. Picture: Justin Tallis/ AFP

She’s as committed now as she was when she first came to the throne. The statement she made on her 21st birthday has been much quoted: “I declare before you all that my whole life whether it be long or short shall be devoted to your service.”

But what’s often left out is the sentence that followed: “But I shall not have strength to carry out this resolution alone unless you join in it with me.”

Don’t forget, this was a life the Queen never envisaged – or particularly wanted – for herself, but was given to her because her uncle quit. In 1936, Edward VIII abdicated the throne for the woman he loved, trading his title for a mansion in France, where he spent the rest of his life in splendid isolation from his family.

The Queen visited him days before he passed away in 1972. His body was brought to Windsor, where he was laid to rest, back in the family fold, after all.

Now, in the Queen’s later years, isn’t there a lesson to be learned from the past? Reconciliation is only for the living; too late, it’s a lifetime of regret.

So, go and see your granny, Harry – and your dad. Be the hero you are and the grandson and son they love.