Kerry Parnell: Why memorials are better than funerals
A memorial, like one held for cricketer Shane Warne, is much better than a funeral — it’s a chance to celebrate someone’s life, as opposed to weeping over their death, Kerry Parnell writes.
Opinion
Don't miss out on the headlines from Opinion. Followed categories will be added to My News.
It’s a shame we only celebrate someone’s life when it’s over, but what this week of high-profile memorials reminds us, is coming together to pay tribute not only honours the deceased, but helps us, too. You could say they’re good for the dead, but even better for the living.
As friends and family gave Shane Warne the send-off he would have loved, in Melbourne on Wednesday, on the other side of the world, the royal family did the same for Prince Philip.
Everyone from family to fans, the PM to cricketing greats and celebrity pals gathered at the MCG – Warnie’s “second home”- where they joyfully celebrated the life of the larrikin.
His showbiz mates joined in, with Elton John, Ed Sheeran, Chris Martin and Robbie Williams sending messages and songs. There were tears, songs, laughter and love – like a big birthday bash, except for the ultimate milestone.
Meanwhile, on Tuesday, in Westminster Abbey, 1800 guests gathered after a 12-month delay, to bid a proper goodbye to Prince Philip and honour his long life.
The pandemic meant his funeral, held almost a year ago on April 17, was pared down to just 30 mourners, with the Queen grieving alone in her pew.
This time, she had everyone around her; family, dignitaries, charity workers – and Prince Andrew, who hit the headlines by walking her to her seat just weeks after settling his civil sex abuse case with Virginia Giuffre.
The only person missing was Prince Harry, which is a shame, because I think he’ll come to regret not being there. His issues with his family notwithstanding, in my experience, shared experiences should be just that — shared — unless you really never want to come back.
A memorial is much better than a funeral, which has to take place so soon after someone dies. When you are in a blur of raw grief, the last thing you can wrap your head around is putting together an event, but with some distance, a memorial is a chance to celebrate their life, as opposed to weep over their death.
It’s a shame it’s only once — I think we should celebrate loved ones annually, Dia de los Muertos-style. The Mexican tradition is like a family reunion with dead relatives. They build altars, give gifts, bake cakes.
It makes sense, because as we all know, grief doesn’t get packed away neatly after the funeral is over and neither should we have to stop remembering our lost loved ones.
They’re always part of the family and if we give ourselves permission to talk about them and celebrate them, it’s better for everyone.
I had a memorial of my own this week, as it was what should have been the 10th birthday of my son Teddy, who never even got to celebrate his first, passing away aged nine and a half months.
And while I didn’t have Elton John or Chris Martin to sing for me, my little family serenaded him in our style. I made a cake, which up until now, I’ve been embarrassed to admit to anyone; but no more.
During Day Of The Dead people give toys and sweets to their lost children, so you know what, from now on, I’m putting flowers in my hair and sending a slice of cake up to him in the sky.
More Coverage
Bolt: Gutless and incoherent Coalition should be ashamed
The Coalition fought to a shock lead in the polls, and then … stopped. So here we are, back with a Labor government that’s left Australia poorer, weaker, more divided and deeper in debt.
Voters could smell the desperation on Dutton
Instead of more marketing and focus groups, Australians need leaders who can talk about work, contribution, fairness, the rule of law – and mean it, writes Piers Akerman.