Kerry Parnell: Is there anything ruder than being loud on your phone?

From making phone calls to watching reels or TV shows, it now appears to be normal for people to use their devices on loudspeaker – at maximum volume, writes Kerry Parnell.

When did everyone stop using headphones? If you’ve been on a train, bus, or in a cafe recently, you’ll likely have noticed people around you using their devices on loudspeaker. And when I say “noticed”, what I actually mean, is hammered in the eardrums.

From making phone calls, to watching reels, or TV shows, it now appears to be normal to do so at maximum volume, device in hand – often horizontally, like you’re on reality TV – oblivious to everyone around you forced to endure your entertainment, Clockwork Orange-style. If I had a bowler hat, I’d hurl it at them.

Comedian Dom Joly and his giant phone. Picture: X

Twenty years ago, there was a British comedian called Dom Joly, who made a career out of one joke – followed by a secret camera, he would go out in public with a giant comedy Nokia. Off went its famous ringtone and he’d answer, screaming, “Hello?!” at the top of his voice.

Eventually smartphones and texting took over; his career and the joke became old and he was relegated to a meme. But Joly must be having the last laugh as, like everything else from the noughties, his skit has come back in fashion.

When did everyone stop using headphones?

And I have no idea why.

What seems to have happened is, post-lockdown, everyone returned to communal spaces but left their manners at home, or simply forgot how to behave in public. Perhaps it was months of doom-scrolling and doing as we pleased, meaning when it was finally time to emerge again, we collectively became a lot more selfish. That would also explain why people are increasingly behaving badly in cinemas, theatres and concerts – disrupting stage shows, throwing things at artists and performing stupid stunts in cinemas.

Behaviour specialist Dr Kirsty Sedgman says we are living in a “disconnection economy”, where we’re, “incentivised into individualistic modes of thinking”, as opposed to communal ones. In her book, On Being Unreasonable, she says traditional social contracts mean we have to have faith in other people – that they won’t harm us, encroach on our space, or annoy us. We need to, “try our best not to irritate … or to selfishly disrupt their peace,” she writes.

Dr Kristy Sedgman. Picture: X

That’s what we seem to have forgotten. Possibly these loud speakers are simply in their own world, not even conscious they are being annoying, but I do find it hard to comprehend how adults can have a total lack of awareness of other people. Especially when they are in eyesight.

Last weekend, I went on a mini-break to a beachside hotel. Throwing open the balcony doors, I gazed happily at the horizon and clocked a chap standing on the neighbouring veranda. I was looking forward to a nice relaxing evening, listening to the sound of waves, only for Mr Jazz Man to put his TV volume to 800, sit on his balcony and enjoy a one-man concert until the small hours.

What did I do? Lay in bed, seething with repressed fury, listening to the bepop-a-doodle-do scat, while googling Bose headphones, of course. It’s the only way forward: if I can’t beat them, at least I can cancel them.

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