Trouble afoot as Gen Z targets our socks and shoes

Gen Z has socks in its sights but, realistically, anyone over 40 is probably advised to leave their sock drawer undisturbed, writes Kerry Parnell.

Are your socks ageing you? This is the pressing question circulating right now, as Gen Z decreed ankle socks the surest way to date you, sartorially.

I don’t know what happened – I used to be fashion-forward, now I’m struggling to keep up, style-wise. First, they came for skinny jeans and, having declared I wouldn’t cave, I inevitably did and am flapping about in flares, with optically-inflated-thighs and sodden hems, every time there’s a light sprinkling of rain.

Now Gen Z has moved down our legs and got our socks in their sights, outlawing ankle socks and taking offence at trainer socks as the ultimate fogey-fying fashion.

Instead, to be really cool or, rather, young, you should wear ugly socks pulled up high, with slides, sandals and even heels. Geography teachers are currently punching the air.

It’s not an attractive look and realistically, despite glancing at my ill-socked feet in dismay, anyone over the age of, ahem, 40, is probably advised to leave their sock drawer undisturbed.

Long socks and slides are in fashion? Oh dear.

Once enough people suffer fashion accidents from hurrying in their slippy socks and slides, it will inevitably be over anyway.

I guarantee this trend is one Gen Alpha will excoriate when they are old enough, so we can all look forward to that day and give a cheer from our La-Z-Boy recliners, as we struggle to put on any socks at all.

However, Gen Z is not finished with our feet yet, as trainers have also had a glow-up, meaning anyone still wearing white trainers is yesterday’s news.

Now it’s coloured sneakers – pink, red, green and retro burgundy.

In my attempt at staying with it, I ordered some pink suede sneakers, only to be told by my daughter they “really don’t look good”. Sigh.

I’m planning on taking up bowling, to get their cost-per-wear down.

But Gen Z are not done yet, as they add even our handbags are ageing us.

Cross-body bags are for oldies, while they prefer the perilously-named “fanny-packs”, as Americans still insist on calling them, while the rest of the English-speaking world shudders at the thought of anyone utilising that particular storage space.

Ironically, they sling these across their bodies (isn’t that technically still a cross-body bag?) or around their waists like Deb from Napoleon Dynamite.

Otherwise, it’s all about the tote, which Gen Z has embraced for some years now – even I knew that.

Good news, as I simply went to my coat cupboard, fished out my ancient Mulberry tote and discovered it is vintage, like its owner, and highly-desirable again. Unlike its owner.

So, having updated my socks, shoes and bag, all that’s left is to save my Nanna-neck.

This design-o-saur was cheered to be informed that another trend has come and gone before I actually did anything about it – gold jewellery.

I was so late to this game, I just got around to looking out some of my old gold, only to read this week, that it’s all about silver once more.

Hooray! I’ve still got it! A silver necklace, that is.

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