I love kids … but adult-only restaurants have my vote

A place with $30 cocktails is not a place for kids to be entertained by blaring iPad. Lisa Mayoh suspects she’s not the only one who finds the mix of kids and high-end dining hard to stomach.

"I get it," writes Lisa Mayoh. "I have kids. But they don't mix with high-end dining". Pictures: Thinkstock

Nothing will spoil your appetite quite like the sound of Paw Patrol blaring from some kid’s iPad.

We’ve had many nights out at fancy-ish restaurants only to have them ruined by the bright lights and booming music of a toddler’s childhood, and it’s uncomfortable for everyone – especially when we’re forced to politely ask their oblivious parents to turn it down, only to be told to mind our own business through rolled eyes and bitchy whispers that sufficiently ruin the rest of the overpriced experience.

Look, I get it. I have three kids.

But I truly think there’s nothing ruder than subjecting other people to whatever rubbish you’re distracting them with – even if it’s Bluey (and who doesn’t love Bluey?)

That’s why the subtle rise of adult-only venues has my vote.

Dinner, with a side of tantrum. Picture: iStock

And not just pubs where you have to be over 18. Restaurants.

Every time one opens there’s uproar because how could they discriminate about the diners of tomorrow?

Not me, though. I seek them out.

I quite like the idea of knowing for certain we can enjoy our dinner without feeling like we’re babysitting strangers.

Or your heart sinking when you’re seated next to a highchair at 8pm on a Saturday night.

Because I’ve done my time.

A place with $30 cocktails isn’t a place to hand the iPad to the kids to entertain themselves. Picture: Supplied

Yes, it was cute the first time your two-year-old threw his mash potatoes on the floor, but not the fourth time when it splattered on my shoes and you laughed.

Don’t get me wrong – my kids were that age once too, and I remember how hard it was. Zipping up that backpack filled with colouring in pencils and sticker books and anything to keep them occupied long enough for us to enjoy our meal and retreat back to the safety of our backyard, where they could run and play and get that pent up energy out in time for bedtime.

The difference is we usually chose low-key family friendly eateries to take them to, not restaurants with $30 cocktails on the menu.

But even then, we were mindful.

If they were going feral, we took them outside.

If they squealed or squirmed or shouted, we’d go for a walk.

Apologise to the people around us and eat humble pie if we had to.

Noise pollution isn’t just isolated to kids who don’t know better though.

It’s taking phone calls and FaceTimes in public, loudly and with no regard to the people around you.

No one wants to hear about how angry you are that your kid’s soccer training has been cancelled for the fourth week in a row and why are you paying all these fees when they can’t even play? Bloody Mother Nature.

Everyone has life admin to deal with.

And everyone deserves a break from it.

A break from the kids, from real life.

Let’s turn down the head noise by being mindful of devices at the table and phones on loud speaker.

I’ll even use my manners and say pretty please.