Lisa Mayoh: We should live without fear of unkind words from unthinking strangers
We should be able to live without fearing unkind words from an unthinking stranger – but a happy life is the sweetest revenge, writes Lisa Mayoh.
Opinion
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“Your knee won’t hurt if you lose 10 kilos”.
That’s what a stranger said to someone I love last week. She was at the gym – a female-friendly over-50s gym that she loves and goes to every day without fail, and the instructor had given her an alternative exercise to do because she has a bad knee – a hangover from the hundreds of kilometres from the life-changing Camino pilgrimages she’s trekked through Spain and Portugal over the years. She is perfect exactly as she is – just with a sore knee. After the class, the woman approached her and said the words that changed her whole week. She was shocked. Insulted. Stunned, as was I.
It’s like the recent story about newlywed Chloe who was trolled online after revealing her gorgeous and secret wedding to AFL star Toby Pink – for what she looked like. Chloe cried for days after comments slammed her on the most special day of her life – and the first day she says she felt truly beautiful.
“Being married to a professional athlete does not give anyone the right to comment on my body or size,” Chloe said.
“It’s exhausting that women are still being judged like this. The comments were so vile and disgusting. All because I don’t fit the typical ‘WAG’ mould.”
Then there’s our favourite White Lotus star Aimee Lou Wood, who this week called out Saturday Night Live as “mean and unfunny” for mocking her appearance. Because it is. It all is.
Whether you’re a 65-year-old woman at the gym, a bride who should be basking in newlywed bliss or a woman in the prime of her career, our appearance, our weight, what we look like should never be words on people’s lips. In what world do we live in that we think it’s OK to comment on a stranger?
Then it goes the other way – you work hard, eat well and people cynically assume you’re “on the jab”. Women just can’t win.
The judgment is the opposite of what we teach our kids – so where does it all go so wrong? Chloe – congratulations to you. I hope you know you’re beautiful, inside and out. And Aimee? You were sunshine on White Lotus. My favourite, actually. You are a huge talent and SNL was out of line. And we should be able to go to the gym without fearing unkind words from an unthinking stranger. You’re stronger than most for not listening to the noise that doesn’t matter.
Today is Easter Sunday, the day we have chocolate for breakfast, lunch, dinner and hot cross buns in between – and not one person should feel guilty about that. A happy life is the sweetest revenge, after all.
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