Electric scooters Melbourne: Call to outlaw the personal light electrical vehicles
Please rid our lovely city streets, paths, parks and waterways of these lurid louts, or if scooters are to be made permanent there needs to be stricter rules, writes Susie O’Brien.
Opinion
Don't miss out on the headlines from Opinion. Followed categories will be added to My News.
E-scooters are the best thing that’s ever happened to cyclists.
Thanks to all the annoying scooter riders infesting our city spaces, no one cares much about
Lycra-clad loons anymore.
We’re much more concerned about the irritating users of these so-called electric micro-
mobility devices, or as I like to call them, drunk-people death traps.
Locks blowing in the breeze, e-scooter riders glide in and out of pedestrians on footpaths
and roads, barely breaking a sweat
With ear buds jammed in their ears, they’re often checking their socials as they zoom along,
they’re blissfully unaware they’re leaving a string of annoyed walkers and motorists in their
low-carb footprint.
Some wear helmets like a fashion accessory, refusing to do up the strap.
Do you know what you call a helmet that’s not done up?
A hat.
I am not against e-scooters, but e-scooter riders who have an amazing inability not to ride
dangerously.
Sometimes there’s two of them crammed on the same scooter, giggling as they clock up
speeds of 40km/hr going the wrong way on the freeway.
E-scooters are believed to meet an unmet transport need. What need? Acting like an idiot at
top speed in public places?
Officially they are known as PLEVs – personal light electrical vehicles.
These so-called jetskis of the city should be known as their real name: PISS. Personal injury
Status Scooters.
The state government announced earlier this year that the one-year trial allowing two
brands of e-scooters would be extended until the end next week.
They should read on and save themselves many hundreds of thousands in consultants’ fees.
I’ll tell them what they need to know for free.
THE TRIAL HASN’T WORKED.
NOT EVEN A BIT.
E-SCOOTERS ARE CRAP AND EVERYONE HATES THEM.
(OK, I feel better now.)
To Lord Mayor Sally Capp and Premier Daniel Andrews, I make this plea.
Please rid our lovely city streets, paths, parks and waterways of these lurid louts.
Please let drunk people with an urgent desire to get across the city so they can lose money
at Crown Casino stumble into cabs like they used to before e-scooters came to town.
Please let young people who want to feel young and free take a jog rather than pick up an e-
scooter.
Please let tradies who are late for work opt for fare evading on public transport like they
used to do.
I urge you to allow Neuron and Lime to go back to being brain cells and fruits, not
transportation options.
Whatever you have tried to do to get the e-scooter operators to take responsibility hasn’t
worked.
From the beginning the trial was flawed because it allowed two commercial companies to
operate, but banned individually own e-scooters from being ridden in public even though
it’s legal to buy them.
The idea was that the scheme would ensure the companies would track wrongdoers,
control the scooters’ use and storage and monitor the impact.
But for the past year, e-scooter riders have been carelessly flouting the rules and no one
seems to care.
There are fines of more than $900 but this isn’t a deterrent because hardly anyone is fined.
If e-scooters continue (please, no), the rules have to be strong and upheld by police because
we can’t count on e-scooter users to do the right thing unless coerced to do so.
Hospital statistics show the most common accident involves a drunk young male without a
helmet who falls or loses control of his scooter.
Yes, of course it does.
If these scooters are to be made a permanent blight on our landscape, they need to be
docked off footpaths and in properly demarcated areas.
They need to be only used in bike lanes and paths where they are separated from
pedestrians, and they should only be used by those with a drivers’ license.
The government should also make it mandatory for all e-scooters be registered so the riders
and owners can be identified.
They must fine riders without helmets and fine riders with helmets that are not strapped
on.
Crack down on people who are riding them on footpaths or roads and fine them too.
Confiscate e-scooters left lying around the city, fining the owners.
And then fine people who don’t issue enough fines.
There’s another issue. Right now, only those riding within the road rules and operator’s
conditions are insured for third party injury. This makes no sense because most accidents
happen when people are doing the wrong thing.
However, it would be better to outlaw them altogether.
The Scooters Behaving Badly Twitter page has this apt slogan.
Don’t park or ride your e-scooter like an idiot.
Better yet, don’t ride one at all.
This, I think, says it all.
Good: New round of the $250 power bonus started on Friday
Bad: Mum claims Aldi’s prices are now as high as other supermarkets
Funny: Prince Harry’s memoir mocked in parody book Spare Us
Originally published as Electric scooters Melbourne: Call to outlaw the personal light electrical vehicles
Join the conversation
Price: Tone deaf Premier’s ridiculous response to Shrine security crisis
A moving weekly ceremony at the Shrine is under threat because of savage cuts to Victoria Police. The Premier’s response to the funding crisis left me wondering how anyone, let alone a political leader, could be so tone deaf.
Read more
Frydenberg: Crushing anti-Semitism is Australia’s fight — and one we must win
At first our leaders ignored what was happening, then hoped it would go away, but now they are seeing the depth of the problem — if anti-Semitism is left unchecked, the wall that keeps the mob at bay will come crumbling down.
Read more