David Elliott bids farewell (almost) to one of the longest, strangest elections ever

Both party leaders managed to put the electorate to sleep in a way that would make Rip Van Winkle envious, writes David Elliott.

We made it!

Like the last day of a wet school camp, boy does it feel good to know that after tomorrow night we will be back to our regularly scheduled programming.

No more interruptions from Clive Palmer or screeching from Pauline Hanson.

No more Greens telling us that home ownership is the root of all evil or Teals pretending they are “one of us” from the luxurious enclave of Simon Holmes a Court.

Observing this federal campaign was as entertaining as watching Nanna knit a new scarf. Indeed, as I approach my 40th year as a member of the Liberal Party I have to present Election ’25 with the wooden spoon, which is a huge call given I worked for John Howard during the 1990 “The Answer is Liberal” campaign (seasoned politicos may recall that was the one where we had an answer, but forgot to ask the question).

When historians record the political events of autumn 2025 I’m pretty sure it will be a short entry, with a fair bit of time dedicated to the fact both party leaders managed to put the electorate to sleep in a way that would make Rip Van Winkle envious.

Clive Palmer speaks at a press conference after the federal election campaign launch of the Trumpet of Patriots party. Picture: Dan Peled/Getty Images

Tragically, boredom wasn’t the only characteristic of this last five weeks.

I’m also struggling to find a campaign that attracted more aggression. One of the things we’ve always been able to boast about in this country is the peaceful transition of power in a way that even the Americans have forfeited.

Vandalised corflutes have been an unfortunate feature of this election. Wentworth Liberal candidate Ro Knox was one victim.

In fact, it’s been nothing short of nasty. And don’t let one group tell you they are the innocent victims.

Vandalising Teals, union thugs, racist chants from the far right, Green slogans promoting intolerance and yes, even my beloved Liberal Party will need to call a few people in if the footage I’ve seen ever gets out.

Tragically for the first time there have been some other unwelcome and unsavoury ingredients put into the campaign mix since the Parliament was dissolved.

Thanks to the situation in the middle east, we’ve seen a significant rise of sectarianism across Western Sydney over the last month. And it should scare the dickens out of everyone.

Gone are the good old days when it was a sublime campaign of Catholics versus Proddys. The rise of the Muslim Vote campaign, with a concerted effort not to win an election but rather force Parliamentarians to succumb to positions that may not be in the national interest, is a dangerous distraction for our democracy.

Add to that the push in selective seats from a Christian denomination who can’t even vote and sheer anger from the Jewish community, who have never felt more vulnerable in Australia, and those pontificating that the outcome tomorrow will purely be a referendum on the cost of living may find themselves with the proverbial on their faces.

Dr Ziad Basyouny, independent candidate for Watson, addresses protestors as hundreds turn-out for an anti-racism rally in Bankstown. Picture: Jeremy Piper

With the Prime Minister dedicating more time talking about his decision to buy a house than his policies to help others do likewise, and the Opposition Leader taking flack not for his economic narrative but because he undervalued the cost of a dozen eggs by two dollars, you have to ask yourself if tomorrow’s election should be cancelled and both leaders sent back to their offices to resubmit their vision?

And you, the voter, you don’t get away unscathed either.

How can millions of you justify voting in the two weeks before polling day given that’s when the media is saturated with the policies and priorities most pertinent to both leaders? Please don’t tell me your vote was given the same consideration as your soft drink purchase.

Not that anyone can be blamed for switching off or being confused. Voters who may have spent the last decade away from Australia probably remember Albo as an agitating left wing revolutionary hell bent on bringing down the establishment in favour of a workers paradise.

Fast forward to his first re-election campaign and my word hasn’t he made the transition to the Upper Middle Class with aplomb? Stylist? Tick.

Beach residence? Tick.

Church attendance? Tick.

Having escaped from the working class myself this bloke is an inspiration!

And Peter, what’s with the back flip on work from home?

Why not simply respond to your critics with a policy stating it will be on an “as needs” basis. Surely if people can justify the practice then that’s where it ends but let me tell you as a middle-aged married bloke with no more dependents I fail to see how my cohort can justify the benefit five days a week. It’s called Means Testing.

All I can say on behalf of those of us who are just simply addicted to elections and can’t get enough of the intrigue, lobbying, messaging and one-upmanship, thank God we have a Papal Conclave to give us our fix this Autumn.