The hidden meaning in Anthony Albanese’s 2024 State of the Nation address

The Prime Minister had a lot to say in his 2024 State of the Nation speech on Thursday, but Tim Blair has uncovered the hidden meaning behind the words.

Prime Minister Anthony Albanese had a lot to say in Thursday morning’s Committee for Economic Development of Australia State of the Nation speech.

But much of what Albanese said may have been contrary to what he really intended.

Using the latest Albotron 5000 vocal analysis technology, here’s a breakdown of the PM’s words and their hidden meanings:

What he said: “Australia has a faster rate of economic growth than most of the G7. With a lower unemployment rate. Stronger jobs growth. A higher participation rate. Smaller gross debt.”

What he meant: If I look around hard enough, I can find some busted-arse joints that are doing even worse than Australia under Labor. Also, economic growth elsewhere in the solar system is absolutely abysmal.

Prime Minister Anthony Albanese delivers the 2024 State of the Nation address. Picture: Martin Ollman

What he said: “Since we came to government, just over two years ago, nearly 880,000 jobs have been created.”

What he meant: People are back at work after Covid.

What he said: “Responsible revenue and savings decisions … have put us in position to deliver back-to-back budget surpluses.”

What he meant: Australia is selling iron ore, coal and gas at prices that you simply would not believe. We are absolutely rolling in it.

What he said: “At the start of this year, our government made the decision to reform the tax cuts we inherited.”

What he meant: The tax cuts we promised and supported.

Mr Albanese at the CEDA State of the Nation conference in Canberra. Picture: Martin Ollman

What he said: “Our energy bill relief and increase in rent assistance … are designed to cut inflation.”

What he meant: But they’re obviously inflationary, so everything is going in the wrong direction. Who could have guessed?

What he said: “These are the two priorities that have driven us for two years: helping people under pressure and making our future here in Australia.”

What he meant: We’re helping PUT people under pressure. And Australia’s future is definitely in Australia and not, for example, Mozambique. Our map department checked.

What he said: “[We have] a plan to end the uncertainty of the climate wars and seize the opportunities of the move to renewables.”

What he meant: If we keep saying “renewables” over and over again, we’ll just somehow make it happen. Kind of like Beetlejuice.

What he said: “A move supported by so many of the organisations represented in this room and the full cross-section of the business community, the union movement and civil society.”

What he meant: I’ve just won a bet here with Chris Bowen by using the phrases “union movement” and “civil society” in the same sentence.

Did the PM have a bet with Climate Change and Energy Minister Chris Bowen? Picture: Martin Ollman

What he said: “We’ve approved over 50 new renewable projects since coming to government, enough to power three million homes.”

What he meant: Which is just as well, because that’s likely how many we’ll be left with by the time Labor is voted out.

What he said: “Solar and wind and green hydrogen are energy sources where Australia has a powerful natural advantage.”

What he meant: But even putting all of them together won’t match our natural uranium advantage.

What he said: “Generation, storage and transmission infrastructure … will make Australia a renewable energy superpower.”

What he meant: One more mention of this imaginary “renewable energy superpower” and I’ll require an intervention.

What he said: “We cannot afford nuclear power to be deployed as just another weapon in the culture wars.”

What he meant: Which is probably why Peter Dutton wants to deploy it instead as a viable energy source. I’ll get back to you on this.

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