Tim Blair: Let the tears of sadness fall as leftists look to lose
This year could deliver the ocean-boosting downpours we’ve all been desperately waiting for. They’ll likely be thanks not to climate change, but to left-wing election defeats – and the fountains of commie tears that could follow.
Opinion
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We were promised rising oceans. The seas would consume our coastlines, they said. Waves would crush our capital cities, they said. Fancy coastal dwellers would be forced inland to Brewarrina or Cobar, we hoped.
Tragically, sea levels seem not to have budged at all despite decades of anguished saline panic. But this year might turn things around.
This year could deliver the ocean-boosting downpours we’ve all been desperately waiting for.
And they’ll likely be thanks not to climate change, which comes up short every single time, but to left-wing election defeats – and the fountains of commie tears that could follow, drenching ABC newsrooms and loading waterways to overflowing.
The distress is already under way in Queensland, although their election isn’t due until October 26.
Labor types are wailing over the latest Pauline Hanson “Please explain” video, which mockingly depicts Robert Irwin and children’s cartoon favourite Bluey attempting to promote the complete shambles that is modern Queensland.
Irwin, son of wildlife television hero Steve, is threatening legal action against Hanson, her One Nation party and video creators Stepmates Studios, but more entertaining still was the hostile response from Queensland Transport Minister Bart “Bit” Mellish.
“The Pauline Hanson video is just a bit mean,” Mellish said on the weekend. “It’s a bit mean-spirited, and using Queensland icons like Robert Irwin and Bluey to try and sell a bit of a mean-spirited and a bit racist political message.”
Bit, bit, bit, bit. Poor Bitsy Mellish.
If he ever becomes even a little bit important, Stepmates Studios will be all over him like a salty on Bluey (one of the best scenes, incidentally, in that 204,000-viewed Hanson video).
“The main point is political satire is supposed to be funny,” Mellish continued, “and that wasn’t funny.”
Nonsense. It’s both funny and satisfying. The line “Bluey’s being bashed!” is something parents have wanted to hear ever since that dog was whelped back in 2018.
The French are similar to Queenslanders, inasmuch as they don’t speak much English and will also be voting this year.
Unfortunately for the incumbent left-inclined French government, led by President Emmanuel Macron, all indications from this month’s European parliament election results show the French Right is on the rise.
“Marine Le Pen’s Far Right National Rally victory was the big story of the night after its strong performance impelled Macron to dissolve parliament and call a new election,” wimp leftist site Politico reported. “Far Right parties also came first in Austria, tied for first place in the Netherlands and came in second in Germany and Romania.”
A point of clarification for anyone arriving here from an earlier and more rational time: the tag “Far Right” is now applied to any political movement not openly devoted to illegal immigration, pronouns and cheering for Hamas.
Anyway, France holds its elections across two weekends, just as normal countries used to sort out drawn grand finals. This provides double the opportunities for collectivist tears, but be warned – as with several elections mentioned here, the French deal could disappoint.
That’s OK. For all our faults, at least we right-wingers don’t cry.
Shifting to the other side of the English Channel, however, many may anticipate wobbly upper lips as the ruling Conservatives are thrown out next month, possibly even to the extent of falling behind not only Labour but also Nigel Farage’s Reform UK party.
But nobody on the Right should mourn the defeat of a government that for more than a decade has failed on just about every serious conservative measure.
Britain under the Conservatives has become so ruinously gutless and woke that a spell under Labour may even improve the place. Well, “improve” might be overselling it. Let’s just say that Labour somewhat stands for its own brand, as much as any historic British institution stands for anything. Not much, in other words. And alleged right-wingers oversaw that slide.
Still in Britain, and keeping to our earlier climate theme, the Daily Mirror last week reported: “UK to be blasted by 48-hour 26C heatwave with five cities in England the hottest.” Imagine such a thing as a “26C heatwave”. We’d call it autumn.
The big one lands in November, of course, when US President Joe Biden is scheduled for his rematch with previous president Donald Trump. The use of “scheduled” when discussing this election is heavily advised. Recent Biden clips show that he’s even more of a wreck now than he was in 2020, and he was plenty wrecked even then.
Yet he won, and could possibly do so again. Leftists may somehow stall their sadness. At this point, though, you’d put money on the tears.
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