Surrogate baby a Christmas gift after mum survived follicular lymphoma, cervical cancer

Little Arthur Oakley is a true Christmas miracle, born five years after he was conceived and his mum Hayley beat cancer twice. See their incredible story.

Hayley and Ben Oakley have the best Christmas present they could wish for – their son Arthur.

They had thought their dreams of a family were impossible, because they faced every hurdle you could imagine in the quest for children, including two bouts of cancer.

“He is just beautiful, he is a mixture of me and Ben,” Ms Oakley said.

“We are blessed, we don’t need anything else for Christmas.”

In 2017, the south coast couple lost their first child Erica, who was stillborn at 37 weeks after suffering a foetal maternal haemorrhage.

Hayley and Ben Oakley, and their 3-month-old baby son Arthur, who was born via surrogate after a long and difficult journey to parenthood. Picture: Tim Hunter

After losing Erica, Ms Oakley continued to suffer abdominal pain and scans showed she had follicular lymphoma, which would require gruelling chemotherapy and could damage her fertility.

“I was borderline stage three so it needed to be treated very quickly and, because we had lost the baby the fertility stuff was front of mind for us,” Ms Oakley said.

“The doctors were aware we lost the baby (and) told us that chemo can make you sterile (so) she put us in touch with Professor Lionel ­Reyftmann from Genea,” Ms Oakley said.

Prof Reyftmann recommended harvesting her eggs and creating embryos.

“One of the collateral damages is the eggs can be literally burnt by the treatment and damaged,” Prof Reyftmann said.

“When she lost her baby, everyone was crying when there was a review of that case and we learned not only had she lost her baby but she had cancer. We only had a few weeks to collect the eggs, generate the embryos and it was a desperate measure.”

Hayley Oakley at 7 months pregnant with baby Erica who was stillborn in 2017.

Hayley during her treatment for cancer.

Four embryos were created and frozen then Ms Oakley embarked on chemotherapy that went from March to August. Doctors recommended not trying for a family for a year to allow the chemo drugs to leave her system.

While the chemotherapy cured her lymphoma, a scan picked up another cancer, this time cervical.

“In March of 2019, that scan showed I had cervical cancer. We were devastated. I had to decide whether or not to have a hysterectomy, which was the only treatment,” she said.

“I had the hysterectomy in May. I did think it was the end … we had the embryos but at that point we thought surrogacy was really hard. We were devastated, it felt like we lost the baby all over again.”

In yet another blow, the following year a routine inspection found the cervical cancer had returned, requiring radiation treatment for five weeks. After recovering from that, the couple turned their thoughts to the embryos and posted their story on a private surrogacy website.

The Oakley family with their own Christmas miracle. Picture: Tim Hunter

From that a surrogate came forward and their first implantation took in January this year.

“I cried, my husband was over the moon. We were in disbelief because so many negative things had happened over the years and it didn’t sink in until we saw the eight-week scan,” she said.

Arthur was born on September 11, 2022.

“It was just amazing, I don’t know how to put it into words. There were tears as soon as we heard him cry,” she said.

“My husband said it’s a boy and we were both in tears, the surrogate was in tears.

“(We faced) every single hurdle, one thing after another, we just felt we were never going to get there and we kept wondering why does this keep happening to us, we are good people, we haven’t done anything bad, we just want to be parents.”

Genea's Professor Lionel Reyftmann helped the couple to become a family.

Proud new dad Ben said his son’s birth was a relief.

“He was technically a five-year-old before he was born, as he’d been in the freezer waiting,” the 38-year-old said.

“There was a lot of relief when he was out. I was just happy to see his face and I was so grateful to the doctors and nurses and the surrogate and Hayley. Fatherhood is everything I hoped it to be.”

Mrs Oakley, a teacher, had to give up work throughout her treatments and the financial impost on the family was lightened by the generosity of the Illawarra Convoy Charity which helped them out over the five years. “We were so grateful to them” she said.

Hayley survived cancer twice, and after undergoing chemotherapy then a hysterectomy feared she’d never be a mum. Newborn Arthur proved otherwise. Picture: Tim Hunter

For Professor Reyftmann, Arthur is a career highlight.

“No one had ever the idea she would have another cancer and lose the uterus. If we knew this I would have said don’t do it, your priority is to save your life but we gave her the option,” he said.

“When I saw it going pear-shaped and she was going to have a hysterectomy I thought that’s it, it is never going to happen, so it is an incredible story. In 20 years, I have never had a case like this, her story is incredible, this is the reason why we do this.”