School’s advice to parents and students: listen, talk and seek help if you need it
TEACHERS and parents at two schools more than 50km apart had the grim task of explaining to their students and children why two of their classmates would never be returning to school. Read the letter one school sent home.
NSW
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TEACHERS and parents at two schools more than 50km apart had the grim task of explaining to their students and children why two of their classmates would never be returning to school.
Jack Edwards, 15, and his sister Jennifer, 13, were cold bloodily murdered by their father John in what police say was a pre-planned double killing on Thursday night.
Jack Edwards attended Pennant Hills High not far from where he was killed, while Jennifer went to Gosford High School.
Pennant Hills High principal Ross Warren sent a letter home to parents of Jack’s colleagues about the “sad news”.
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“One of our Year 10 students died suddenly and tragically yesterday evening. Our thoughts and heartfelt sympathy are with the student’s family and friends,” he wrote.
“I am bringing this incident to your attention both for information and so that you may be aware of your child’s concerns. It is important to try to include in your discussions positive ways of managing this sad situation.
“Many students will wish to talk with their parents, so I also encourage you to let your child know that you are aware of this incident and that you will listen to their concerns at any time they wish to share that with you.
“Our thoughts are with the student’s family and friends at this tragic time and we ask that you respect their privacy.”
The Penno Student Leadership Facebook group also told students they should seek help to deal with the tragedy.
“Today our hearts broke when we found out that one of our students was taken from us too soon. Our deepest condolences go out to any students, friends, family and teachers that are affected by such heartbreaking circumstances, and such a devastating event,” its post read.
“If anyone feels they are having difficulties coping during such a tough time, please do not hesitate to seek help from any of our teachers, or councillors.
“As a school, we will find the strength to get through these unfathomable experiences and unite to support each and every person in the community.”
For the wider community, parenting expert Dr Justin Coulson said the best thing was not to expose children to the news in the first place.
If they do ask questions about it, it means they have a need to feel safe.
“If something does peak their interest, a little gentle reassurance and distraction will work — ‘I love you, you’ll be safe, let’s have a tickle or read a book,” he said.
“If children are older, provide answers to satisfy their curiosity. We can usually sense from the question, their age and what they are asking us if they are concerned or curious.”
His strategy for talking to children involves being honest, answering questions briefly and directly, avoid sugar-coating and don’t give more detail than is appropriate.
“Be guided by your child’s curiosity and then stop,” he said.
“A child picks up on a parent’s distress — kids will catch our calm but they will also catch our crazy.
“If we cannot be composed and a little bit less emotional, we may be best off creating some distance and saying that we’ll talk about this a little later.
“We need to not give them more cause to be concerned. It provokes the very thing we are trying to avoid.”
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