TWO days after Helen Hope retired, she pulled out a crumpled article she’d carried around for years and called the number.
The article about the ward grandparents’ program at The Children’s Hospital at Westmead, had survived multiple wallets and handbags waiting for her retirement.
“I just knew it was what I was going to do,” the 70-year-old grandmother of six told The Sunday Telegraph.
For five hours a day, three days a week, the Kellyville resident is one of 15 volunteer ward grandparents who turn up to the hospital to care for a seriously ill child.
The “ward grannies” deliver much-needed respite to families. They cuddle babies, play with toddlers, help with physiotherapy and homework — whatever it takes to get a child and their family through a day.
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“We try to make it normal for them when it’s not normal,” Mrs Hope, who has been volunteering now for four years, said.
“My friends sometimes say: ‘How do you do it, it’s too sad?’
“But it’s not. Kids live right in this moment. If the child is happy, and they’re reading a book or they’re playing, they won’t know how sick they are.”
The program has been running at The Children’s Hospital for 31 years. The first of its kind in Australia, there’s always a waiting list of volunteers.
“There are many children in hospital who are seriously ill and sometimes their stay goes on for a long time and their parents need a break,” program co-ordinator Shannon Tracey said.
“Sometimes there are children whose parents just aren’t here for whatever reason, it might be child protection concerns or other things going on.
“For babies, if they’re on their own, especially for their developmental needs and their emotional needs, they need their cuddles and their warmth, so the ward grannies are able to provide that as well as help promote the development plans the team might work out,” she said.
Volunteers go through stringent screening, training and police checks, as well as bereavement training.
“Sometimes there are really tough days here, really sad days,” Ms Tracey said.
“So it’s important to be able to reflect on their own selves and how things impact them.”
Not all the volunteers are actual grandparents but most have raised children, suffered losses and have a certain resiliency and understanding of life that’s highly valuable in the role.
“One of the most beautiful things we see is ward grandparents role modelling parenting for new parents. Just that simple interaction with a child, showing parents how to play with a child, and to enjoy the child. They’re pretty spectacular,” Ms Tracey said.
Sometimes there are really tough days here, really sad day
Lewisham resident Carol Smith spent several months caring for baby Xavier this year.
“When you make that baby smile who’s been terribly sick, that’s pure joy,” she said.
“When I first got him, he couldn’t really see anything, he never laughed or smiled.
“The joy now is he knows me, he knows my voice. He does a big gummy smile, almost a chuckle. It’s just worth a million dollars.”
Born almost 12 weeks premature with a rare chromosome deletion, Xavier had surgery shortly after he was born to relieve haemorrhaging on the brain, then he started having life-threatening episodes where he wanted to cry and would hold his breath.
Xavier’s mum Simone Mitrevski said “Granny Carol” was a godsend.
Simone and her partner David McDonald live in the Blue Mountains and often the 26-year-old first-time mother was at the hospital alone while her partner worked.
“She’s able to read books, sing to him, play with him, bathe him,” Ms Mitrevski said of Granny Carol.
“It’s just that peace of mind, she’s able to provide the level of care that I could do when I’m not there.”
Ms Mitrevski said seeing Xavier smile at Granny Carol as he developed had been a delight.
“It’s been amazing to see the progression, she has such an amazing touch with him as well,” she said.
“If she holds him, he’s comfortable and sleeps in her arms, and it’s been really good for me to learn some tips and tricks from her as well, being a first time mum.”
Mrs Hope said when a social worker suggests a ward grandparent to a family, the relationship takes time to build — especially when parents are adjusting to a devastating new reality.
“We’re allocated to only one family at a time and quite often it’s a family that’s going to be long-term in hospital,” she said.
“So it could be a newborn baby that just needs cuddles, it could be a child who has cancer who’s going to be there long-term and mum and dad are going to be virtually living at the bedside.”
Ward grandparents volunteer on regular days, allowing parents, especially those from interstate or with other children, to run errands, do washing, even just go home for a nap.
Mrs Hope said, as time goes on, the relationship with parents is just as important as the child.
“Parents do open up to us,” she said.
“Often they won’t say to their partner how frightened they’re feeling. If their fears have got too much for them and they don’t want to cry in front of their partner, they’ll often have a cry with us.
“It’s a lovely relationship that you build with parents.”
They do say you really know you’re a ward granny when you have a child and they pass away
Mrs Smith said parents will often ask her to stay when they’re there for the company, for someone to talk to and a chance to learn something new about their child.
“For parents living at the hospital, it’s very difficult, but I’m able to give them that respite, they know he’s with me, he’s happy, he’s enjoying everything.
“It just lessens the burden a little bit.”
There’s no avoiding the reality of a children’s hospital ward. Children can be there for years and some pass away.
“I haven’t lost a child,” Mrs Smith said gratefully.
“They do say you really know you’re a ward granny when you have a child and they pass away.”
Co-ordinator Ms Tracey said ward grandparents are expected to deal with fairly complex cases and social workers provide lots of support, especially during bereavements.
“We’re well aware of what’s going on with the families, and we’re aware our ward grannies need lots of support around those times, and to be able to do what they need to do to have closure with that family, to process that loss themselves,” she said.
“We know we need to take extra care of them by ensuring they don’t get a run of difficult situations. All of the situations are difficult I have to say, but to be able to try and predict the next few babies might be happy stories I guess.”
The ward grandparents are a tight unit, they support each other and meet regularly at the hospital for lunch, debriefing and talking each other through the ups and downs.
Both Mrs Hope and Mrs Smith try not to look too far ahead when they are working with a family. Their focus is on providing love, compassion and a positive experience for the children.
“I walk into that hospital and I feel fantastic,” Mrs Smith said.
“I know it’s full of sick children, I understand that, but it’s also full of wonderful parents and the children are beautiful.
“I really enjoy just helping, and being not only there for the child but the parents as well.”
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