Something set to leave a mark

THAT tiny flyspeck with a tail, the apostrophe, gets so much abuse these days it warrants a court appearance.

THAT tiny flyspeck with a tail, the apostrophe, gets so much abuse these days it warrants a court appearance.

The poor little thing must feel neglected and unwanted. Nobody seems to know where to put it.

Is it it's (with an apostrophe) or its (without an apostrophe)? Is it bag's of potatoe's or bags of potatoes? The flyspeck with a tail looks too insignificant to worry whether to use it or not. So it's either tossed in fifty cents each way or avoided altogether.

The apostrophe's cousin, the full stop - the flyspeck without a tail - can run into similar difficulties.The husband keen to square off after a blue with the missus tells his secretary to send her a dozen red roses with a card saying, "I'm sorry. I love you".

The secretary belongs to the if-in-doubt-leave-out school. The card reads, "I'm sorry I love you.'

The divorce is pending.

That other flyspeck with a tail, the comma, and its relation the tail-less full stop fell into disuse in the days of telegrams, the long-disappeared way of sending a message quicker than snail mail even if it was delivered by a kid on a pushbike.

The comma and full stop were small enough to be overlooked so they were dropped in telegrams and replaced with the word 'stop'. This told the person who received the message there was a break in it, usually the job of the full stop or comma, and had nothing to do with traffic lights.

While this woman was away visiting her mother she got a telegram from her husband: "Not getting any better (stop) come home."

A sick husband needs his wife. She packs up in a hurry and heads home.

There she's met at the door by a husband who doesn't seem sick at all. In fact he's pretty healthy. He seems intent on leading her into the bedroom.

"You're not sick," she says.

"Course I'm not sick," he says, nudging her towards the bed.

"Then why send a telegram telling me to come home because you weren't getting any better?"

He brought out his copy of the telegram. The missing flyspeck and wandering 'stop' did it. The message said, "Not getting any (stop) better come home".