OPINION: Political lessons hard to learn

"IT REALLY should be easier for you politicians to work out what will and won't fly these days."

Pollies should really run everything by Bob Hawkes' pub test.. (AAP Image/Dan Himbrechts) NO ARCHIVING. Picture: DAN HIMBRECHTS

BACK IN May, Australia's best crossword compiler - and general word genius - Fairfax's David Astle (we love you, DA), explored the origins of the phrase 'pub test'.

In his Saturday column, Wordplay, DA revealed he tracked down the first public airing of the phrase, by John Howard in 2001 on A Current Affair (although the deputy PM of the time, John Anderson, uttered it a year earlier in the upper house). So while it was originally Liberal-speak, now it's a phrase applied - and not in a good way - to the dodgy behaviour of certain members of virtually every political party.

Had Bronwyn Bishop applied the criteria of the pub test before her ill-advised taxpayer-funded helicopter romp from Melbourne to a Liberal Party fundraiser in Geelong back in 2015, she'd possibly still be the Speaker of the House of Representatives. We won't even mention the later revelation that Ms Bishop (and Tony Abbott) used taxpayer money to fly to Sophie Mirabella's wedding in 2006. Toned Abs quickly repaid his airfare (as did Ms Bishop - years later after Choppergate). Oh, see now, I did mention it after all.

I've seen the phrase pop up more and more often recently, but strangely it doesn't seem to rein in the spending habits of our elected representatives, or their propensity for accepting gifts from foreign businessmen (Sam Dastyari, I'm looking at you, mate).

Sussan Ley, whom I believe to be a fairly decent politician (and yes, I'm aware of the definition of the word "oxymoron", thank you), failed the pub test when she bought an investment property on the Gold Coast under murky circumstances in January.

And the actions of former "colourful" MPs Eddie Obeid and Ian McDonald (or as they're now known, Inmate Obeid and Inmate McDonald) were so far from passing the pub test they might have been members of the Temperance Society.

I'm constantly surprised that pollies don't learn from the very public scandals endured by colleagues.

It really should be easier for you politicians to work out what will and won't fly these days.

So, in order to make it simpler, how about also running your behaviour through my personal "headline test"? It's pretty straightforward, really.

All I have to do is think how my name will look on the front page of a newspaper in 120pt.

It's amazing how quickly you get a feel for it.