Lillian Saleh: ‘I never thought I’d do a No.2 in front of my son’
IT’S the little things you miss once you have a baby - like going to the toilet on your own. For Lillian Saleh, there’s just no getting used to doing her business in front of a tiny audience.
NSW
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I NEVER thought I’d ever do a number two in front of my number one.
But when Mother Nature calls and you have an active 17-month-old you are left with no choice.
It’s not like I haven’t tried.
I try to distract him with a toy or book or his favourite Wiggles song as I bolt to the bathroom.
I usually make it five steps before I hear, “Mumma, mumma, mumma,” and this little person comes running after me.
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We’ve even played a “knock-knock” game where I close the door and do my business all the while he’s knocking on the bathroom door calling out, “Knock-knock,” and I’m calling out, “Who’s there?”
He usually gets bored after the 20th knock and starts calling out before screaming his head off. Worse still he goes quiet and I start imagining the worst possible scenarios ever.
Now I don’t even bother shutting the door as he comes tearing in on his little trike or with a book in his hands.
He thinks it’s hilarious, whereas I literally sit there mortified thinking of all the germs he is inhaling and touching.
When he was younger I put him in the high chair in the bathroom as I showered.
At first I was actually nervous to be naked in front of him (yes weird, I know).
Now I literally strip and get dressed in front him as it’s the only way we can get ready on time.
All the while he is slapping my thighs or poking my belly.
I’ve written previously how I feared the terrible twos would hit early.
And boy have they. I’ve interviewed politicians, chased criminals, covered complex court cases — but they’re nothing compared with trying to negotiate with a little person who has decided he wants to flop on the floor of Big W and not get up.
We had to abandon a recent shopping trip because it was just impossible to shop.
And most mornings he now insists on riding his trike to daycare — screaming the house down if I dare say no.
And people say newborns are hard …