Mind You: Let's take different view on our feelings

TAKE a moment to consider what it is in another person that annoys, upsets or aggravates you at the moment.

Learning to see things differently gives us access to different choices. Picture: Poike

TAKE a moment to consider what it is in another person that annoys, upsets or aggravates you at the moment. That thing they do or say or the way they treat you. Yes, that one. It might be that they are rude or abusive, make fun of you or are selfish or inconsiderate. How do you feel about that?

Now consider the deeper meaning because it's highlighting something you need to be aware of. For example if it's rudeness and abuse, when have you behaved in that way towards someone else or yourself? If it's selfishness or lack of consideration, when might your behaviour towards yourself or others be considered the same? Now? In the past?

Ouch!

You see we only recognise these things in others when we are feeling or have felt them in our self and then it's brought into our awareness. Now, this is not intended to provide the opportunity to be hard and judgmental on yourself by the way. We can be our harshest critic and are all very good at berating ourself at times and it achieves nothing.

We actually need to do the opposite; recognise it for what it is, an opportunity to get the message, acknowledge and accept it as being part of us, something to learn from, and be gentle on ourself as we work though it. Humans are flawed and perfectly imperfect. We're here to learn and evolve even when the learning feels harsh and challenging and we can be slow learners particularly when it comes to changing. Yet not wanting to repeat the lesson should be enough to encourage us to learn and apply the learning quickly.

So the first step is to look at where this may be happening for you and what it is that the "annoying" person is actually there to teach you about yourself. Remember it's not about fault or blame; it's part of their role in your life and it's your responsibility to recognise and apply the lesson.

Learning to see things differently gives us access to different choices to consider in future; a future where we are less judgmental and more compassionate in all that we do and that applies as much to ourself as it does to others.

Time for you to reflect?

Rowena Hardy is a facilitator, performance coach and partner of Minds Aligned.

Originally published as Mind You: Let's take different view on our feelings