COMMENT: Coming to our census

SOCIAL commentator Max Crus drinks to the great Australian balls-up that was the Census.

Risky Business King Valley Pinot Grigio (2016, $25): If it's a bit risky spending $25 on a pinot grigio you haven't tried, it might as well be this one. Anyway, what's this review for? Rating: 8.6/10. Picture: Simon Hughes 0422474444

SORRY guys, looks like we caused the Census website to crash, but it was worth it.

We only told one little lie but suddenly our street is crawling with engineers, government types, teachers, plumbers, interpreters, shopping centre magnates and consultants.

Man, we haven't seen so many consultants since they sold Telstra.

Anyway, it was all part of objecting to have to put your name on the Census.

Not sure why we're objecting, everyone knows me and I would be happy if someone stole my identity. I could just slip away quietly and watch the fireworks.

They are as welcome to the $10 in my bank account as they are to my dog, and well, truth be known, Ms L. probably would appreciate the change too, and it'd be cheaper than a holiday for her.

But if it's not good enough for Nick X, then it's not good enough for us, so I didn't use my name.

However I did say that there were 23,000 people staying at our place that night and that's when the fun started.

We ensured half the number were children so the Education Department has acquired land for a primary school, a high school, half a TAFE and a branch of some wannabe regional uni, all within a kilometre.

Westfield is knocking down the other houses in our neighbourhood and building a shopping centre.

The Department of Transport built a bus interchange across the road (guess we didn't make the cut for an airport, but gee it gave Badgerys Creek a fright).

There's a new hospital with no queues on a Saturday night. However that might be because of the lockout laws. Yeah, we didn't see that coming. Apparently when you get that many people together they want to stay up late and party. Well, der. But this is Australia, mate, not Paris or Berlin, New York or London.

We're locked out after dark and the internet doesn't work, but gee the other services are good and I'll drink to that. BYO at home, that is.

Sorry about the website thing.

Now let's review some wine:

Mitolo The Nessus Malbec 2014, $15. Mitolo love mythical creatures and, well, who can resist a half man-half horse? Imagine one of them in the Olympics...just like the old days of Ancient Greece, eh? This wine is a bit out there too. 8.5/10.

Mitolo The Nessus Shiraz 2014, $15. Half horse, half shiraz. Hmm maybe and horse would be a good accompaniment. Pretty darn good stuff for less than a bag of feed. 9/10.

Risky Business King Valley Pinot Grigio 2016, $25. If it's a bit risky spending $25 on a pinot grigio you haven't tried, it might as well be this one. Anyway, what's this review for? 8.6/10.

Risky Business Margaret River Shiraz Tempranillo Grenache, 2016, $25. Risky Business is stating the obvious when it comes to the wine industry so really they shouldn't be able to put that on a label, it's a bit like calling a betting agency 'Losers'. Well, der. 8.7/10.

Howard Park Leston Margaret River Shiraz 2014, $46. This doesn't jump out at you in any particular way. Not too much fruit, oak or alcohol which means it's pretty much in balance and you can guzzle the lot without noticing except it seems to get better with each glass. 9/10.

Howard Park Chardonnay 2015, $54. Tres marzipan, which I thoroughly detest, but love this, go figure. Too classy for the Crus fridge by far so we drank it. 9.2/10.

Originally published as COMMENT: Coming to our census