Divorced couples forced to live together due to the cost of living

A relationship therapist says estranged couples are being forced to live together after going through a divorce, with the cost of living and housing crisis making it impossible for divorcees to move out on their own.

Carla Da Costa says divorced couples are being forced to live together due to the cost of living.

Estranged couples are being forced to live together after going through a divorce, with the cost of living and housing crisis making it impossible for divorcees to move out on their own, according to a Sydney relationship therapist.

Self-described ‘divorce coach’ Carla Da Costa said more and more divorced couples have to make the tough choice to live in the same house despite no longer being in a relationship, thanks to high rents, eye watering property prices, and skyrocketing energy bills making it too expensive for either party to live on their own.

“It’s the financial cost of paying for two homes, so you’re seeing people are now having to live together because they can’t afford rentals or can’t afford a home,” she said.

“People are questioning if I can afford to leave my marriage and support myself, pay rent and buy property on my own.”

A Finder survey in 2021 of 1,010 people found that four per cent of Australians are currently living with their former partner or spouse, and 15 percent have previously lived with an ex-partner to save on housing costs.

Carla Da Costa.

But it’s not just divorced couples feeling the pressure to continue to live together, partners on the verge of divorce or considering it are also forced to weigh up whether they can survive by themselves.

According to Carla, couples are now preferring to stay in broken relationships, as the thought of maintaining a comfortable lifestyle is more attractive than facing financial struggle, even though as Carla states, can lead to toxic environments.

“I would say every client now that is coming to me is weighing up the financial implication of a divorce,” the author of the book ‘seconds please’ said.

“It forces people together and it becomes very heavy, because you have two people that are disconnected and living separate lives which is where we see affairs come.

“And that’s what creates these factors that just breed toxicity, arguments and everything like that.

“You’re living with someone you don’t want to be with, yet you’re sharing a home you don’t want to be around and it impacts people because they can emotionally move on.”

Carla refers to these incidents where couples chose to stay together to avoid financial issues and others as ‘the warm bath’ scenario.

“It might not be so hot that they have to get out (of the relationship) Not so cold that it’s uncomfortable to stay in, so it depends on how bad it is.”