OPINION: Why I'd move to America to vote for Hilary

I WANT to vote for Hillary Clinton in the US election and I want to have a beer with Bill.

I WANT to vote for Hillary Clinton in the US election and I want to have a beer with Bill.

As a kid, I was scared when (Republican) Barry Goldwater made his bid for president in 1964 and it is a bit the same now with Donald Trump.

My third cousin four times removed, Google, states Goldwater was a dangerous extremist.

He seemed pretty scary at the time for a 10-year-old in a class of three at Greymare State School.

No-one really knows what Trump will say or do next.

So it seems like I will need to have to move to the USA, and do it quickly, if I want to vote for Hillary Clinton but I can't move too quickly because the cattle I have just put on grain need two months to be ready for market.

Time will be of the essence: I will have to be in America in time to be on the roll and vote in November.

If I want a bit of farm land in America, I will have to check the criteria. It seems easier for overseas residents to buy here than it is for Australians to buy land overseas.

I will just take one car to America, the Valiant Charger as it appears they like big, noisy cars in America.

Wonder if I can transfer the gun licence I have for the farm?

It's anyone's guess about US regulations.

What about our dogs, Aussie and Max?

I'd better talk to Johnny Depp as he will know how to get dogs into America after Barnaby Joyce told him Pistol and Boo should "bugger off back to America".

Perhaps I can take a few favourite head of cattle - although that might be a bit too hard.

In what part of America should I settle? I have an Akubra so perhaps Texas is the go.

I might be able to be a rodeo reporter in Texas, not sure how I would go with gridiron or baseball. I gather there is cricket in America but it is not a big sport over there.

What else do I need to do? I could ask my wife and family but what's the point? Margaret has already told me if we are going to move overseas, she would like to live in Rome. I assume there are plenty of galleries and shops in Rome.

I doubt the Charger would do too well in Rome and, as for Aussie and Max, the backyard or the bottom floor townhouse might be a bit small.

Guess I'd better just stay here and hope and pray there will be some common sense in the American presidential election campaign.

Politically, I am right of centre in Australia but reckon if I was in America I might be on the Democrats side or at least be a bit of a sympathiser. As for a beer with Bill, perhaps next time he is at Port Douglas...

Originally published as OPINION: Why I'd move to America to vote for Hilary