Baboon gets his vasectomy, two wives are ‘happy’
After staging a great escape to flee his vasectomy, the ‘Houdini’ baboon has now had the snip, and is resting with his ‘happy wives. PLUS: In this exclusive interview, male research baboon TLD51830J tells Tim Blair what set the trio off.
NSW
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Despite making a mad dash to escape, the baboon that gripped Sydney when it ran amok at RPA has now had his vasectomy.
The 15-year-old, known only as TLD51830J, is now resting and sleeping said NSW Health Minister Brad Hazzard.
“Baboon ‘Houdini’ update: vasectomy has been completed this morning as planned,” Mr Hazzard tweeted this morning.
“Procedure went well. He is now sleeping/resting. His two female family members are relaxed and happy,” he said.
BABOON BREAKS HIS SILENCE
Not to put too fine a point on it, but the business of being a monkey is monkey business.
It’s what we are supposed to do. So when I worked out the other day just what they were planning to do to me at the Royal Prince Alfred Hospital, well, my monkey instinct kicked in.
There is no way this baboon is ever losing his virility without a fight. Besides, I’m the big baboon on campus. What sort of example would I be setting for the youngsters if I just let myself be snipped like a common macaque?
So I had it all planned. Granted, it was a smart move to distract me during the truck ride to the hospital with my two lovely lady baboons, but sooner or later all of my attention was focused on that lock. I figured that once we stopped, I’d simply spring the lock, wander outside and blend in seamlessly with surrounding humans. The RPA is in the inner-west, after all. There are so many beardy hipsters out there that you half expect David Attenborough to chase them around with a camera crew.
Of course, Wife No. 1 stuffed things up at the outset.
We were strolling casually towards the exit when a vegan offered her a sample plate of artichoke heart flatbread herbal sourdough pastries, but instead of taking one and pretending to like it, in the hipster way, Wife just stared at the plate looking revolted.
In the baboon way.
So we were busted. The vegan called the police to report a 319 (sourdough refusal) and the joint was soon crawling with cops. It didn’t help when some lady phoned Ben Fordham and told him we were “psychotic”.
But I’d refer everybody who expected us to go ape, as it were, to this comment from NSW Health Minister Brad Hazzard at the height of the drama: “They’re behaving very respectfully and responsibly. For baboons.”
A little patronising, sure, but I’ll take that over being labelled “psychotic” any day.
You might not know it to look at us, but we baboons are talented negotiators. Once it became obvious we weren’t going to escape, we began playing the PR game.
The first step was to be totally placid and docile. That bought us enough time for public sympathy to kick in. Sure enough, within an hour, all of Twitter was crying over us poor research critters.
Ha! Our strategy paid off. The big stories the next day weren’t about baboons going wild in Sydney. Instead, they were about animal cruelty.
You got played, suckers.
And my manliness received a stay of execution. We’ll see how long that lasts. If they come for me this morning, that’s when we initiate Plan B. I don’t want to give too much away, but “psychotic” is just the start of it.
WHAT’S IN A NAME?
They are the escape artist baboons who captured the attention of the world as the male and his two wives went on the run to avoid the snip.
Now The Daily Telegraph is inviting readers to name the three Houdini primates who performed the great escape after Health Minister Brad Hazzard confirmed the trio are without nicknames and merely referred to by coded letters and numbers.
Could they be inspired by the three tunnels in the legendary Steve McQueen movie — Thomasina, Dick and Harriet?
It is up to you, our loyal Daily Telegraph readers to decide.
Send your suggestion — and reasons why — to news@dailytelegraph.com.au
SNACKS BEFORE THE SNIP
The three baboons who escaped captivity at Royal Prince Alfred Hospital, in Sydney’s Inner West yesterday, have spent today resting and snacking on fruit and vegetables after their “big day out”.
“Baboon Snippet update: Male baboon’s vasectomy delayed from today 4 one day. All 3 well & resting. Breakfasted on bananas, capsicum, apple & bread after big day out. The tripping trio will rejoin their family (4 other females) post op. tomorrow,” Health Minister Brad Hazzard tweeted.
THE BIG BREAK
On Tuesday, a male baboon being transported for a vasectomy at Royal Prince Alfred Hospital made a late break for freedom and went on the run with his two wives on Tuesday, sparking a wild hunt in Sydney’s inner west.
The large male and two smaller female baboons broke free from a truck as it was delivering them to a medical research facility in the RPA grounds at Camperdown.
Eyewitnesses filmed the primates as they ambled into the Queen Elizabeth II carpark at the hospital where police rapidly sealed the entrance with a tarpaulin until expert animal handlers from Taronga Zoo arrived to capture them.
One astonished eyewitness, Michael, called 2GB’s Ben Fordham and said: “I’m deadset serious. I’m at RPA, I’m six floors up and I just happened to gaze out at the carpark … and there were three baboons in the carpark.
“I’m deadset serious they even had shiny red bottoms … (they were) running around the carpark.
“Mate I’m deadset. I had a coffee an hour ago and I thought ‘what have they put in this coffee’ Even the nurses here have gone ‘my god’.”
Another woman called and said her daughter saw the baboons on the street as she was walking to her car.
“They ran past her and a few of her colleagues ran after them.” Her daughter, an occupational therapist at the hospital, said: “I’ve just helped wrangle them.”
Health Minister Brad Hazzard was among those who found the escape hard to believe at first.
“I thought I had seen just about everything as Health Minister in NSW, but a baboon threesome hightailing around RPA Hospital like there is no tomorrow?” Mr Hazzard quipped.
He confirmed the baboons broke loose before being corralled by police and animal handlers.
“There are three baboons who were being transported from their normal colony and the first advice is that there was a failure in the door of the crate inside the truck and they’ve gone into a carpark,” Mr Hazard said shortly before the animals were sedated and recaptured.
The animals had been “behaving very respectfully and responsibly … for baboons.
“They are quite placid and behaving themselves far better than one would expect.”
Cody Carr, John Twohill and Lara Balsom on Tuesday told The Daily Telegraph how they tried to wrangle the fugitive primates.
The trio of would-be baboon catchers ran down from St John’s college the moment they heard the animals were on the loose.
“I was eating dinner and my phone buzzed. It was a message from a mate who said there were some baboons on the loose,” Mr Carr, 18, said.
“We got a bag and just started running around looking for them.”
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His friend Mr Twohill, 18, said they formulated a plan in the event they managed to get their hands on the animals.
“We wanted to take them back to college … We need a new mascot,” he said.
Ms Balsam, 18, said she did not think she would be able to control herself if she spotted one of the escapees.
“Oh god who knows. I’d probably just scream and laugh. How weird is it that they’re here,” she said.
Patients from the neighbouring Marie Bashir centre for mental health crowded by the windows and were seen laughing and high-fiving as the baboons escaped.
Officers from Police Rescue put tarpaulins along the entrance to the carpark on Lucas St to contain the baboons until animal handlers from Taronga Zoo arrived. Six officers taped the tarp in place to prevent the baboons from sneaking through the bars.
The carpark borders the Chinese Consulate. Officers were concerned about the animals escaping the carpark and injuring themselves on the razor wire lining the fences of the consulate.
Mr Hazzard said the male baboon was 15 years old and had been “very happily breeding” in the colony in western Sydney before the trip to RPA for the operation.
“In order for him to continue to live with his family group he was due for a vasectomy tomorrow,” he said.
BREAKING: Baboon situation pic.twitter.com/8sOAUt8PoQ
— primordial hot mess (@gths) February 25, 2020
There are baboons on the loose at RPA hospital! pic.twitter.com/bgJqeKYaQu
— Laura Banks (@laurakatebanks) February 25, 2020
The two younger female baboons accompanied the male to “keep him comfortable’’. “They are two of his wives effectively … he came with his two wives to keep him happy,” Mr Hazzard said.
“After the operation, he and the wives will return to the colony where he can stay forever with them but he will no longer be having babies.’’
Here you go mate - up the 'boons! pic.twitter.com/RaD20nYTRL
— TLCRF80mins (@TLCRF80mins) February 25, 2020
The Baboons are coming for us. I for one welcome our new overlords pic.twitter.com/JmVr1nP4IE
— David Campbell (@DavidCampbell73) February 25, 2020
I heard this on the radio and then discovered this hell...
— Jen Ryall (@jennijenni) February 25, 2020
It seems the baboons are fighting back https://t.co/cYnyFJzDUI https://t.co/R2MmdLMrbH
A Department of Primary Industry spokeswoman said she had never heard of baboons escaping from a hospital before.
The primates are bred for medical researchers who use them to pioneer new treatments for illnesses including complicated diabetes, kidney disorders and heart disease.