'What the hell is this?' The Minecraft Movie had me walking out dazed and confused

Not even Jason Momoa or Jennifer Coolidge could make this worthwhile for the parents. 

It was at about the half hour mark when I grabbed my phone and started scrolling TikTok. I was in a movie that my kids BEGGED me to see and I knew very little about. 

I'm talking about the highly anticipated A Minecraft Moviebased on the uber-popular video game. 

"MUM! Put your phone away!" my mortified 10-year-old whispered to me. 

See, the problem was, while I know the general concept of Minecraft - you build things out of blocks, can raise animals like pigs and chickens, and collect tools to build with, I have never completely understood how Minecraft works and why kids are so obsessed with it. 

I mean, I know it's better than Roblox!

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Everything went over my head. Image: Supplied

Minecraft for dummies 

This movie wasn't for me, so I accepted the fact that I was going to be spending the next hour and 41 minutes bored, confused and cringing pretty quickly, hence my need to find something to pass the time. 

"I just... don't get ANY of this!" I replied to my daughter. 

And then came her typically pre-teen reply. 

"Well, maybe if you watched the movie, you might understand the game we love to play a little bit better."

Touché, kid.

I put my phone away and gave Jason Momoa (Garett Garrison) and Jennifer Coolidge (Vice Principal Marlene) the opportunity to win me back if Jack Black's singing as Minecraft lead Steve already had me tapping out. 

RELATED: Boy runs away from home with his Minecraft sword

What is The Minecraft Movie about? 

The movie adaptation of the popular video game sees expert Minecrafter Steve (Jack Black) pulled into a mysterious portal that leads him to the Overworld - a cubic wonderland where he's able to let his creativity soar. 

Misfits Garrett ‘The Garbage Man’ Garrison (Jason Momoa), Henry (Sebastian Hansen), Natalie (Emma Myers) and Dawn (Danielle Brooks) eventually find themselves trapped in the same world, where they meet Steve and together they head off on a quest to get the hell out of there. 

But it's not that easy. Along the way, they're met with challenges that mimic those played in the video game as well as having to fight off malformed pig leader, Malgosha, and her nasty little Piglins. 

I don't want to give too much away, but yeah, that's pretty much it!

Yeah OK. I know this guy. Image: Supplied

A gaming world brought to life

While there are obvious gaps in the plot that will leave mature audience members scratching their heads thinking: "What hell is this movie actually about?" you can't ignore the joy oozing out of the little ones watching on. 

This is their favourite game, brought to life! They cheered and laughed watching TNT blow up things, pigs being slaughtered and turned into pork chops (I gasped when I saw that!) and seeing their favourite characters like the Llamas, Creepers and Villagers march around on the big screen. 

Speaking of Villagers, one of them goes on a date with Jennifer Coolige's character as the school's Vice Principal, and while completely bizarre, it's the best moment in the whole film. 

Likely because it's Jennifer and not the storyline, but at this moment, who cares? I'll take anything to make the film less painful to sit through. 

Jennifer Coolige dates a Villager. True story. Image: Supplied

Is it worth seeing? 

Even with a star-studded cast and impressive budget of $150 million ($A240 million), you can't hide the fact that this film is a little weak. 

Daily Beast called it an “absolute disaster gaming fans will hate”,  while gaming and entertainment website Dexerto hailed it “the worst film of 2025 so far.”

Look, it's only April so there's still time for another flop to claim that prestigious title, so if you have a Minecrafter at home, don't let this deter you from taking them along to see it.

Real fans will forgive the predictable storyline and cringe-worthy moments.

For me though? I'm convinced the creators were trolling me the whole time. 

Originally published as 'What the hell is this?' The Minecraft Movie had me walking out dazed and confused