The one sex act Gen Zs are giving up

Even sex acts go out of style

Forget third base, the game has officially changed track with the Body+Soul 2024 Sex Census revealing that Gen Zs are dropping the ball on this one sex act. So we brought in an expert to give us a play-by-play on what’s not going on beneath the sheets.

It’s 2024 and the sexual script has finally been thrown out the window, according to relationship and intimacy coach Susie Kim, who tells Body+Soul that Gen Z has changed the way people are doing it.  

“What I’ve been noticing in my work and life is that there is more of an emphasis on the self,” she says, “and what I’ve noticed is that there’s a new generational trend where there’s less pressure and less of a rush to have sex.” 

Which was not the case for millennials, the sexpert points out. “In that generation, there was this feeling of, ‘can't wait, must lose my virginity’. Whereas now I don’t think there is as much of a rush and it’s not as important a milestone in comparison to previous generations.”

In fact, when we polled Gen Zs over the age of 18, making them between 18 and 27 years old, for the Body+Soul 2024 Sex Census, almost one in 10 (nine per cent) said they hadn’t ever had sex. And that’s not the only act they’re abstaining from.  

The end of third base

If sex was a baseball game, consider third base out, because according to our survey Gen Z are less likely to engage in oral sex with just 46 per cent taking up the practice compared to the general population of 54 per cent. They’re also not as keen to move into the 69 position with 48 per cent likely to engage in the upside down act vs 57 per cent of Aussie adults. 

Kim has a few theories on why Gen Z is calling time out on oral sex. 

#1. The sexual script has changed 

“The millennial script of sex is that oral sex is third base, and so there was this very well scripted escalator of sexual engagement and that was just the culture,” the intimacy coach explains. “There were a lot of assumptions made in the millennial generation where they just followed the sexual script, or sexual engagement escalator, and kind of got stuck in it. 

“So I think with the new generation, they're not stuck in it and I think that people have more options, but there are other anxieties that come up with that.” 

News flash: No everyone is doing it.

#2. They’re a lot more cautious 

“I think Gen Zs are much more cautious and considered than previous generations in all of their decision making,” says Kim. “Like they need more information, they need to look up reviews of everything, they need to look it up on Reddit, and they need to get a lot of information before engaging in something.

“That also feeds into consent culture and there's also a greater awareness on equality. Because the other thing is that Gen Zs are a lot more comfortable in giving not receiving and I know that they’re really concerned with the equality culture. So I wonder if there's something around the vulnerability of receiving, or the awkwardness of receiving, or the awkwardness of not being equal in an exchange, and them just not wanting to deal with those kinds of situations.”

Aussie Gen Zs are keeping it in their pants. Corrie Bond for Body+Soul

#3. Vulva owners face shame 

“One other thing, which I think could actually be having an impact on oral and 69ing, is how much more younger girls and women are feeling self-conscious or ugly or judgmental about how their vulva looks or how their labia looks,” the relationships coach explains. 

“A lot of that is because of porn and cosmetic genital surgery and all of that and I think that probably is playing a part. It usually starts with girls in high school when you're really self-conscious about their bodies and then they're exposed to so much pornography.

“And if you think about it, the millennial generation was growing up only as porn was becoming more available. So it's a really different reality now to grow up where there's so much porn everywhere, and people are quite saturated with images from a younger age.”

Gen Z are the least likely to engage in oral sex.

Less sex, less regrets

With Gen Z having less sex than millennials, Kim says it's down to a change in people’s priorities. “Gen Z is not growing up as fast,” she says. “They're not in as much of a rush to get into a career or get married and they’re living at home longer and there’s a bunch of factors which feed into that. 

“Then there's obviously the impact of tech and social media which means they can connect with people online and form friendships, communities and relationships without actually needing physical intimacy. And then I think there is just that discomfort with intimacy and an awkwardness.”

But it could also mean that they're not as prone to hasty one that stands that leave you with a taste of remorse in the morning.  

“Gen Zs are being more mindful and considerate of their choices, not only in sex but also in their relationships,” Kim explains. “And I feel like they're emphasizing the importance of friendships, even more than millennials, and I think that there is just an openness of different forms of connection and intimacy. And that could lead to more considerate choices and potentially less regrets.”

Originally published as The one sex act Gen Zs are giving up