‘I’m sick and tired of helicopter parents ignoring the rules’: Nikki Osborne on school dropoff fails

I call it the “make a scene of how much more I love my kids than you and make you late for work” drop-off point, writes Nikki Osborne, as she blows the lid on an issue that’s even giving her kids road rage.

Nikki Osborne.

Alrighty, fellow parents. It’s time I blow the lid on the bane of my existence, the thorn in my side, the trigger that makes me want to lose my dial each morning at 8.15. Yes, I’m talking about the school drop-off Kiss and Go.

Or as I call it the “make a scene of how much more I love my kids than you and make you late for work” drop-off point.

Oh that’s right, the gloves are off as I’m sick and tired of helicopter parents ignoring the rules with their public displays of affection for their children. It’s gratuitous, disrespectful and it’s costing people money and their sanity!

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At the Kiss and Go at our school there’s only one lane in and one lane out so there’s no getting around anyone in a slip lane. As such, they’ve put up a sign that says: “Driver to stay inside the vehicle”. Now, for the most part, parents abide by these rules as they understand that other people have places to get to and so they just pull up, the kids jump out, wave goodbye and skip off.

In our family we call the Kiss and Go the Tuck and Roll because some mornings I’m not sure I entirely come to a stop as the kids get out.

They’re fine, settle down.

Then there are the boot parents. The parents who pull up and hit the boot button and the kids walk around and grab their bags from the boot. These parents aren’t too bad but unless the kid plays the tuba do they really need to have their bags in the boot? Or are you just preserving your Range Rover interior? What you are actually doing is eating into my commute time.

Then there are the manual boot parents who get out of the vehicle to pop the boot and hand their kids their bags. This isn’t the airport. You’re not lifting out 23kg suitcases for your nana. Again, if I don’t see a brass band instrument or a drum kit being handed to the kid, I don’t see why you had to BREAK THE RULES and leave the vehicle. We are not friends.

But then there are the concierge parents. You’re the ones I’m coming for. You know who you are.

Nikki Osborne

These parents pull up. Turn the motor off. Take the keys out. Walk around to each individual door and open them. Escort the kid to the boot where you get out their monogrammed bags and place them over each shoulder like they’ve never handled a bag before. You then have a few words with them, kiss them, hug them and wander back to your car.

Meanwhile, everyone stuck behind you in the queue is running increasingly late and is texting other parents about you because you do this EVERY SINGLE MORNING!

Are you aware that if every parent copied your drop-off ritual most kids wouldn’t get to class until lunch break?

What are you overcompensating for?!

Our school prides itself on excellence and yet your kids haven’t even mastered a car door? Even my kids are getting road rage now. We all love our kids but we tell them via text like normal parents!

Now I know I’m coming across as a terrible person living in a fast world but that’s the reality for most working families.

All I’m saying is, if you want to have a little love ritual of a morning, do it before you get into the car, in your own time, not at the expense of others.

What do you think? Are you being driven nuts by concierge parents?

Originally published as ‘I’m sick and tired of helicopter parents ignoring the rules’: Nikki Osborne on school dropoff fails