Why Sam Armytage is ready for retirement

SHE is one of the most successful women in the Australian media, yet aged just 42, Samantha Armytage reveals that she “thinks about retirement ALL the time.”

Samantha Armytage: “If you’re so old that you buy expensive cheese then, yes, you too will occasionally feel like “doing a Chautauqua.” (Pic: Damian Bennett for Stellar)

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KICKING back in a comfy stable, somewhere out Western Sydney way, there’s a big, middle-aged, grey horse... enjoying his retirement.

While he now no doubt spends his days playing golf and (with his hooves up) reading the racing pages, back in his day Chautauqua was pretty special.

Racing fans will know who I’m talking about: The Grey Flash. But for everyone else, this big, grey gelding was one of our most loved and successful racehorses.

During his stellar career, the conqueror won six Group One races, contributing almost $9 million to his superannuation fund. Now that’s a lot of carrots.

But then one day, at the ripe old age of eight, the big fella did something dramatic, stubborn and, I believe, very, very clever.

He decided he didn’t want to do it anymore.

Happily retired. (Pic: AAP Image/Julian Smith)

Remember, this horse was bred to race. It’s all he’d ever known. And most highly trained horses will do what the humans on their backs tell them to.

But one workday Chautauqua got out of bed, stretched, walked to his office (the barriers) and then... just stood there.

He refused to do his job. And then he refused again. And again. And again.

He just didn’t want to gallop anymore. So he didn’t.

Like that other old grey gambler Kenny Rogers, Chautauqua knew when to hold them, knew when to fold them and knew when to walk away.

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There was something about this animal’s ability to know his own mind that really tickled my fancy. Probably because, although my grey hair is better hidden than his, I too think about retirement ALL the time.

Sometimes, I just want to stand in the starting gates of life and... relax.

When you start referring to your knees as the good and bad one (rather than the right and left), or check your super balance fortnightly, that’s when I feel like “doing a Chautauqua”.

When an approaching group of “youths” fills you with panic, that’s when I feel like “doing a Chautauqua”.

When your back goes out more often than you do, or you have a party and the neighbours don’t even notice, that’s when I feel like “doing a Chautauqua”.

If you remember when fame was a by-product of talent, or when your doctor tells you some problem is “normal for your age”, that’s when I feel like “doing a Chautauqua”.

Samantha Armytage’s column features in this Sunday’s Stellar.

If you realise the police, pilots and politicians are all younger than you, or you’re so ancient you can remember going a whole day without taking a picture of anything, that’s when I feel like “doing a Chautauqua”.

If you’re so old that you buy expensive cheese then, yes, you too will occasionally feel like “doing a Chautauqua”.

However, though I feel a deep spirit-animal connection to this stubborn legend, unlike him I haven’t won six Group One races.

In fact, in my final year of high school I was beaten in the 800 metres by a girl who was wearing clogs.

So unless I win Lotto, or the government lowers the retirement age to 40, or the Hawkes family want to adopt me and put me up rent-free in an adjoining Sydney stable, I won’t be “doing a Chautauqua”.

This old grey mare will drag her sorry rump out of bed at sparrow’s tomorrow for (track) work. See you Monday morning...

Samantha co-hosts Sunrise, 5.30am weekdays, on the Seven Network.

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