‘Sorry, Peter FitzSimons. You have been defeated’
“ONCE upon a time, I voted for the republic,” reveals TV presenter David Campbell. “Now I couldn’t care less. Sorry, Pete but the Royals 2.0 have killed off the red bandana movement.”
Stellar
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TO be or not to be? This seems to be the question that has recently shuffled its way back into the narrative of our harsh, dry land.
It was not all that long ago that an historic referendum divided this country. Back then, 1999 felt very different to the song another Prince had served us. We were headed towards the turn of the century. A new beginning as a nation. Y2K was looming. Dial-up was king.
One had to wonder to oneself, would the monarchy prevail or, as the Purple One sang, would it be party over, oops out of time?
I voted for the republic back then. It seemed sensible. Like growing up and leaving home, which I had done that decade. I wondered how exciting it would be if we did the same.
Still, despite our supposed desire to leave the Windsors behind, we decided to give the Commonwealth another shot, though the result was tight.
Cut to 2018 and the republic movement was back. And gaining momentum. This time it was tracking better than ever before. I was less passionate about it as I’d been as a young man. Instead of a powerful desire to strike out, I was more inclined to think, “Yeah, nah, yeah, why not?”
Little did Peter FitzSimons’s red-bandana led movement know at the time that we would be attacked. Infiltrated. Disarmed to the point of giddy weakness.
It was the “yoyals”. They got better. Younger. Cuter. There was no hope for us. Sure Kate and Wills were nice, but then they brought that little George down here with his adorable bilby-loving face. Give him a sister? Amazing! Let her be sassy to the media at a wedding? We want to adopt her.
By the time Harry and his new bride Meghan arrived in Australia last month on their first official tour as a married couple, I’ll admit it, I was weak. Then they told us they were having a baby. Viva la Commonwealth!
Now I couldn’t care less about the republic. I mean look... it’s Royals 2.0. I have to see how this turns out. I want them to be a part of our lives. Don’t you? It works for Canada and they have that cool guy in charge who seems very Instagrammable.
Harry for Governor-General? Sure! Why not? Wills for Minister of Helicopters? Go on. Give Meghan her own television show again? Now we’re cooking.
Sorry, Pete. Maybe next time.
David co-hosts Today Extra, 9am weekdays, on the Nine Network.
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Originally published as ‘Sorry, Peter FitzSimons. You have been defeated’
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