David Campbell asks what every parent ponders about the Tooth Fairy

The Today Extra host has crunched the numbers to discover that the Tooth Fairy is set to cost him more than $76 - but is this really the way it should be?

Twins can bring many joys and challenges to a parent’s life. Some you are ready and prepped for, others can blindside you.

Milestones usually happen pretty close together or, eerily, on the same day. Weird coincidences test your faith, like last year when Billy broke his arm and within a month, his twin sister Betty broke her foot. I have had many parents of twins telling me this is actually very common.

“If your particular fairy is shelling out notes, you may need to get the ATO involved – something suss there.” (Picture: Daniel Nadel)

Yet it’s the Tooth Fairy, and the financial and emotional minefield around said fairy, that started to throw our already chaotic household into a full-blown meltdown.

As a parent, teeth seem to be a constant source of drama – from the minute your beautiful little cherub, who sleeps well and is the sunshine on your cloudy day, starts teething.

Suddenly, there is no pleasing the screaming banshee who keeps you up at night and can’t be settled. Teeth appear and the drama dissolves into the cuteness of their smile bones that beam out of every photo. You rewrite the history in your head: “My child was fine. One or two grumpy nights, but look at all these gorgeous little pearly whites!”

We are “Dental As Anything” as a family. My kids love brushing in the morning and at night. We try to make it fun yet informative. We use all sorts of tricks, from brushing our “shark teeth”, to cleaning “upstairs and downstairs” to retro dad here singing The Toothbrush Family song I watched on TV as a child.

“Part of me does worry: will it ever grow back?” (Picture: Instagram)

Billy, now six, had his first run-in with the enchanted dental bank manager when he lost a front tooth on the monkey bars at school. His front gnasher had to be removed by a dentist. He still has his Alfred E. Neuman grin six months later, and part of me does worry: will it ever grow back? Still, he was excited for the cash.

Speaking of money, there are many ideas about how much the TF brings for its bounty. I believe it is a gold coin. If your particular fairy is shelling out notes, you may need to get the ATO involved – something suss there.

Recently it was Betty’s turn. She woke one morning to announce “Mum! Dad! I have the wobbles!” Knowing she is too young to drink at the tender age of six, we went to investigate and got to the root of the issue. A loose one! Right down front, too. Bound to leave at any stage.

The look in her eyes was one of pure adrenaline and the thought of the dollars floated across her eyes like Scrooge McDuck.

“My tooth is coming out and I am going to be rich!” I don’t know how to break it to her. Still, to a child, a gold coin is worth the market value of pure gold.

David Campbell features in this Sunday’s Stellar.

Her excitement turned to horror at school when it fell out and there was blood. I got handed the lone grill in a brown envelope, ready to go for the night-time transfer of funds. The hard part was done.

The next morning, you get to be a part of the joy and magic of their first financial transaction.

Only 19 more teeth to go. For each twin. $76 worth of teeth in the next few years. And that, my friends, is the tooth... the whole tooth... you know the rest.

David co-hosts Today Extra, 9am Monday to Friday, on the Nine Network.

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