Come on, ladies. Don’t pull each other down

HAVING seen some women failing to support their female peers climb the corporate ladder, Let’s Connect Women founder Libby Allaway says there’s a more effective way to get ahead.

Libby Allaway: “It’s important to keep learning, to do what makes your heart sing, to achieve small milestones. That builds up steps of success in our self-esteem toolbox.”

HAVING seen some women failing to support their female peers climb the corporate ladder, Let’s Connect Women founder Libby Allaway says there’s a more effective way to get ahead.

Women are meant to be supporting one another out there in “Corporate Land”, but too often I hear that the opposite is happening. Women trying to climb the career ladder have other women pulling at their skirts, trying to prevent their success. Healthy competition is great. But competition at the expense of others is completely unacceptable.

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Healthy competition is great. But competition at the expense of others is completely unacceptable. (Pic: iStock)

Competition, alongside fear and lack of self-esteem: I believe these are the three reasons why women sometimes don’t back each other. I am definitely not a psychologist, but having dealt with women throughout my career I believe that competition comes from our own belief system that we are not good enough. Putting someone down then makes us feel better.

Many women suffer low self-esteem, and often that is because our lives are so frantic we have lost the art of looking after ourselves. Due to the demands of life — both work and family and the constant push and pull from different directions — women are becoming increasingly disconnected from their families, their organisations and, most importantly, their own selves. We are so connected to our devices, our “to-do” lists and our careers, that it often feels we lose sight of what is truly important.

My advice is to take time out. How did being busy become a badge of honour? I am often accused of being busy and I don’t like it. It feels like an insult. I feel balanced. I choose to work and I adore spending time with my friends. However, more often than not, you will find me having a swim with my husband, hanging out with my kids and dogs and simply doing nothing.

You also need to find your tribe — one theory says we are the sum of the five people we spend the most time with. Think about the people you spend time with who bring you joy, who inspire you to greater things, and then think about the people who are the vampires — who suck you dry of energy. It might be time to send those vampires packing!

Libby Allaway features in this week’s issue of Stellar.

It’s important to keep learning, to do what makes your heart sing, to achieve small milestones. That builds up steps of success in our self-esteem toolbox.

And whether you are an entrepreneur, an executive or stay-at-home mum, you need to remember on a daily basis what your “why” is. Why is it that you do what you do? Knowing your “why” will keep you in good stead for those days when things aren’t going the way you planned — and let’s face it, no-one’s life is perfect (including mine, I am the first to admit).

Many women seem to be under the misconception that they need to be tough or hard to succeed and compete with men. That just isn’t true. When we are kind and empathetic we can achieve so much more. Be as good as you can be — be capable, authentic, educated, supportive, respectful and kind. It’s as simple as that.

As women, we need to believe and understand that when we work together and support each other, magic happens. We can change the world.

The annual Let’s Connect Women Wellness Summit will be held on December 1; letsconnectwomen.com.

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