Sex therapist Georgia Grace talks about Sydney’s dating challenges

Dating apps, a lack of confidence, and the fear of vulnerability are all challenges faced by Sydneysiders looking for love and meaningful intimacy, according to a Sydney sex therapist.

A sex therapist has revealed dating apps and the fear of vulnerability are among the challenges Sydneysiders are facing in their quests to find love and meaningful intimacy.

Certified sex and relationship practitioner and somatic therapist Georgia Grace said clients who have moved to Australia from overseas find Sydneysiders’ lack of communication surprising when trying to date in the Harbour City.

“They find it really odd how Australians are not as forthright, or they don’t communicate as much, or they don’t tell someone that they like them,” Grace shared.

“Many Australians can also find it really confronting how upfront some people are – there are so many different cultures around the way people think and feel about dating.”

Grace recently published The Modern Guide To Sex, which became the best-selling book on sex of 2024.

Sex therapist Georgia Grace. Picture: Richard Dobson

In a world of online dating and social media, Grace has observed a lingering anxiety about reaching out to connect with prospective dates.

“Even the most sexually confident people, at some point in their lives, may not feel like they have the confidence to date,” Grace said.

Georgia helps people confront the barriers to building meaningful intimacy in the age of dating apps. Picture: Richard Dobson

“Even when couples talk to me about the challenges they’re facing, it’s often about voicing a need or a desire, or telling their partner that they like them or that they’re attracted to them – but they’ll both say the same thing, it’s a shared vulnerability.”

Fortunately, Grace says confidence is a skill that can be cultivated.

“There is an assumption that confidence is something that you have, but actually confidence is something that you build, and you won’t build your dating confidence by sitting at home and waiting for someone to knock on the door,” Grace said.

“You build your dating confidence by thinking about what would feel exciting for me, what would feel safe for me, and what would feel like a really great experience.”

Georgia Grace. Picture: Richard Dobson

Grace acknowledged dating apps had both benefits and pitfalls.

“For some clients it’s felt like a less vulnerable or a less scary approach to dating or meeting someone, especially for those people who feel that they don’t feel comfortable going up to someone at a bar or going up to someone that they don’t know,” Grace said.

“I also hear the challenges and the fatigue – dating apps can make many of us more avoidant and it can dehumanise the fact that there’s someone who is on the other side of the engagement.”

Grace said people would ultimately have to embrace the inherent vulnerability of dating.

“It’s going to feel nerve-racking going on a first date, it will feel nerve-racking telling someone that I like them, or I’m interested in them because it’s vulnerable,” Grace said.

“We have to be vulnerable, and we have to be okay with the nerves that come with it, especially if you want to meet someone.

“We have to be slightly more comfortable with the nerves and the excitement that can come with dating.”

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