Woman, 55, reveals how she lost her virginity to a male escort later in life
Growing up in a strict religious family, sex was forbidden. But at 55, Annie Lane has finally lost her virginity.
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At the age of 55, Annie Lane finally lost her virginity last month.
The American ended decades of sadness, distress, shame and curiosity and paid to have sex with a male escort in England – on neutral territory – to at last discover what it was like to be intimate with someone.
“I thought ‘oh my gosh, it’s kind of now or never’. I didn’t want to be 70 and still a virgin looking for someone in the retirement home. I wanted to at least feel young enough,” says the educator, from Phoenix Arizona, who also had her first kiss with Australian George Goulburn in London, where she was holidaying last month.
“It was a really great experience, it’s hard to imagine a better experience. Most of the stories I’ve heard, most women’s first times are horrible … some teenage boy who doesn’t know what they’re doing or like my friends, who waited until their wedding night. I had one friend who said sex was painful for her for the first six months.
Ms Lane, not her real name, grew up in a strictly conservative, evangelical American family in the 1970s and early 1980s.
Sex before marriage was strictly forbidden and considered a sin that would be punished by God. Even holding hands and kissing were off limits in her community.
The only physical touch she experienced was joining hands to pray with a boyfriend.
“It was a typical 1950s-type reality. The only thing I was taught about sex was don’t do it,” says Ms Lane, whose younger sister was a virgin until she married in her early 30s.
“I assumed that I would get married young and lose my virginity on my wedding night. Then that just doesn’t happen.”
Entering her 30s and 40s, the lack of intimacy plagued Ms Lane’s thoughts. She began to think she would “die a virgin”.
As she pursued her career, moving across states and away from the strong influence of her family, her views began to change and she drifted from the strict teachings of the church.
“God and I are on a break,” she laughs. “We might get back together but our relationship will be different.”
Covid lockdowns and the reality of looming menopause had Ms Lane re-evaluating her life and feeling the pressure of her ongoing virginity. Some nights, she would cry herself to sleep.
Suffering the “consequences and psychological effects” of decades without human touch, she decided that she no longer wanted to “put things on hold”.
“Not just for sex but anything – I want to travel so what am I waiting for,” says Ms Lane, who has been a regular visitor to London over the past three years.
She entertained the prospect of hiring a male escort to finally experience what had been missing for so long.
By chance, an Australian news report popped up on her computer about Mr Goulburn and one of his customers, fellow American Kate Kulas, who had set up a business helping other women navigate the world of male escort services. Ms Lane reached out to discuss her growing idea with Ms Kulas, who had paid the 52-year-old Aussie male escort $20,000 to travel with her to England and Scotland last month.
In the meantime, Ms Lane had also contacted London-based services and organised platonic dinner and coffee dates with two men during her holiday.
“I was thinking ‘see where it goes, at least it will be experience with a man dating, talking’,” she said.
“A week before I went to London, Kate sent me a message saying ‘George is going to be in London the same day you are, you should look at booking him’.
“I looked at his site, and I don’t have an abundance of money but I thought ‘I don’t know where these other two dates are going to go and I could book him for a sensual massage, at least that would be human touch’.”
The $500 massage turned into something much more – as did Ms Lane’s coffee date.
“After 55 years of no sex, I had two one-night stands within the course of four days,” she laughs.
“I have absolutely no regrets whatsoever. There’s something unique about the whole experience of hiring someone for it. The reason I decided to go that route was if I did become intimate with somebody, I wanted it to be someone who … I didn’t have to run the risk of falling in love with. George and I live on opposite sides of the world, I wasn’t going into it thinking ‘ooh, this could be the one’.”
At home again in Phoenix, life has gone back to normal. She works and socialises with friends.
And she has “no idea” if she will hire a male escort again.
“I’m not opposed to it. I do feel like I got pretty lucky with the two men that I ended up being with,” she says.
“I think about it all the time, I think ‘oh my gosh, I feel like a 14-year-old boy’.”
Ms Lane says finally losing her virginity at 55 is “better than 65”.
But she says she is struck by how natural and everyday it felt, given the enormous role her virginity had played in her life – and how viciously it had been controlled when she was a teenager.
“People were making such a big deal about ‘don’t do that, do that and you’re going to hell’,” she says.
“It was wonderful, I don’t regret it, but it’s not like my life is completely different because of it. I want more experiences like that but it’s not like it suddenly turned me into a different person.”
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