An entire state is being sex-shamed

When Jana Hocking found herself on a plane to Byron for the launch of a new adult sexual wellness device, she ended up with a rude surprise.

Vibrators. Marvellous contraptions. I remember my first one. It had sat untouched in its very chic light blue box on my desk for months.

My former self used to harp on about how anti-them I was. Ranting “Nope. Never used one, they surely can’t be as good as the real thing.”

Until, dear reader, we hit lockdown.

What a grim time that was for a single gal. Long lonely nights with nothing but Yellowstone to keep me company. Those Dutton boys really knew how to get my imagination going. You ride that horse, Kayce. Show those other cowboys how it’s done.

Anyway, I digress. It was on a very quiet lockdown night that I decided to unpack this nifty blue package. It had been sent to me by a female-owned company called Vacation Vibes who named their vibrators after fancy vacation spots, like Miami, Amalfi, Byron etc …

All very fabulous. Anyway, I started my ‘Amalfi’ up, and I hate to sound cliche, but just like when Charlotte discovers ‘The Rabbit’ on Sex and the City – I too found the hours fly by.

Suddenly lockdown wasn’t all that bad. Who wants to go for another boring walk around the park when I could transfer my mind to far more exotic places.

Safe to say, it transformed my life in a subtle way and I thought to myself “what a jolly good invention these buzzy devices are”.

Which brings me to last weekend when I find myself on a plane to Byron Bay for the launch of a new adult sexual wellness device and little did I know I was in for a rude surprise.

An entire state is sex shaming, Jana Hocking says. Picture: Jana Hocking/Instagram

Held in the penthouse at Rae’s on Wategos, this brand wasn’t holding back. There was

French champagne, decadent food, views overlooking Byron’s most famous beach and a bathtub filled with vibrating gadgets. Why so extravagant? Well, it turns out the brand is part of a billion-dollar industry.

Yes, that’s how popular these devices are. They are raking in as much cash as some of our favourite handbag, fragrance and makeup brands.

But that was not the surprise. At this lunch I was surrounded by gorgeous businesswomen, influencers and media identities all talking at length about what type of vibrator was their favourite (they come in many handy forms.) There was no taboo whispering behind our hands, or turning bright red as we unashamedly admitted which was our favourite brand/shape.

It was a bunch of women embracing their sexuality and talking about it oh so casually over a classy lunch.

So when the female owner of the brand got up to say a speech, it left me slightly gobsmacked.

Founder, Julia Marget, revealed that Vacation Vibes is really jumping on the emergence of

sexual wellness as it’s really picking up pace in Australia (yay!) and they have been trying to expand the category by being the first brand to go in store – real bricks and mortar stuff.

BUT “we have stopped short of a national rollout due to the antiquated laws preventing us from seizing the market opportunity in NSW … NSW Crimes Act 1901.”

Jana Hocking says she remembers her first one. Picture: Jana Hocking/Instagram

Further stating “NSW will and are being left behind. The laws are out of date, and out of touch with what women want to see in the beauty isles. It’s time to get rid of the stigma and taboo. Let women shop where they feel confident and safe — and get the products they want.”

Umm … why the heck are adult toys still banned from being displayed in NSW? The rules are so strict that stores like Myer and David Jones are banned from putting them in their shops.

Nope, not even in the lingerie section next to lacy G-strings and push-up bras.

It would appear we are being sex-shamed by the NSW government which clearly deems these gadgets as ‘dirty’ and ‘shameful’. How do I know? Because in NSW just displaying or advertising them could lead to a jail term of up to a year and/or an $11,000 penalty. The legislation bans the sale of vibrators everywhere except in ‘adult’ stores that are subject to severe restrictions around location and public access.

And yet in every other state in Australia you can buy them in chemists and department stores.

So here is a genuine question; why do politicians still find female pleasure something that should be hidden away.

Why should they be hidden away? Picture: Miguel Medina/AFP

Now, obviously I don’t think we should be displaying them next to the lolly section or anywhere else kids tend to be drawn to, but if we can have condoms and lube sitting front in centre at supermarkets, why can’t adult sexual wellness be displayed in it’s very chic and inconspicuous packaging in the lingerie section, or next to the condoms at the chemists?

By having them placed in areas frequented by female shoppers, surely it could help influence public perception and contribute to reducing stigma around sexual wellness products.

By relegating their sale only to adult stores, it makes it appear there is a stigma around purchasing such items openly. Which, judging from the lunch I attended – simply isn’t true.

So surely, it’s time to change this very outdated and very embarrassing law. Sheesh even Tasmania is onboard. And I mean …

Jana Hocking is a columnist and collector of kind-of-boyfriends | @jana_hocking

Originally published as An entire state is being sex-shamed