'Stop commenting on my baby's size - it's making me feel insecure'

"It's particularly annoying when they express shock at his age!"

Laura Jackel

3 min read

August 15, 2024 - 3:56PM

Image: iStock.

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It’s common knowledge that in 2024 it’s rude to comment on a woman’s body size and shape, but what about that of a baby?

One mum shared her displeasure on an online forum about how strangers often comment on her baby being small for his age.

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Baby who was born the size of a coke bottle

"I'm finding it hurtful"

“My baby was born small, has stayed on their centile line and now, nearing age one, is still very little,” she begins her post on the Am I Being Unreasonable (AIBU) thread.

“I am finding it quite hurtful how many people comment on how little he is.

“It's particularly annoying when they express huge shock at his age! I appreciate it is probably my own insecurity as I have been worried about his growth, but it just seems unnecessary to point something like that out.”

She continues by questioning if this is something mums of larger sized babies also get fed up with.

“Maybe mums of big babies have the opposite problem, but in my experience big babies are always considered to be 'thriving'.”

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"I'm over it"

The comments were for the most part very supportive of her being sensitive to the strange things people say.

Another mum of a small baby responded with: “Mine’s two I'm over it. She's small but mighty and more advanced than others. Take the win and enjoy less clothing shopping lol!”

“I always had this with my daughter as she was tiny,” shares another mum.

“Often had people commenting on how she was too young to be having solids and the lady in Clarks told me she was too small for shoes until I took her out of her pram and she stood up.”

A third added: “I know exactly what you mean. My daughter was premature and I had to take her into hospital for a check up when she was not even five pounds in weight.

“Some woman leaned over and breathed right in her face, 'she's like a little DOLLY!' I was so mad. People need to stop and think!”

"But babies are small!"

Other respondents felt the mum was taking small talk a bit too personally.

“But babies are small, “ she writes.

“All of them. It's one of the few attributes a baby even has and when one is put in a situation where it might be polite to acknowledge a baby, saying 'oh aren't they little?' is just standard small talk. A bit like 'oh isn't the weather nice/chilly/wet today'.

“What's the alternative? 'Oh look at how bald they are' just doesn't work as well given that small is associated with cuteness etc. whereas bald is generally not considered a favourable attribute.”

Another agreed: “I think often people just like to engage with parents about babies and children so pick something they can mention to start up a conversation.”

One user said that the best thing for strangers to say if you really must make a comment is simple.

“The only comment especially from strangers that one should make is that the baby is beautiful, lovely etc.”

One mum also had a strong response to those who felt the remarks about size didn’t mean anything.

“Many posters on here assume it's just people generally remarking on a cute tiny baby but when you are a mother of a 'small' baby you know exactly what they are getting at. And yes I too find it rude, unhelpful and accusatory.”