My SIL is obsessed with one name for her baby, but there’s an obvious problem

"My other brother expects me to apologise for embarrassing my SIL, but I can't tell if I'm really in the wrong." 

The relationship between Sophie* and her family has always been incredibly close; she and her four siblings have always spent quality time with each other.

But when their mum, Carol Rose*, was diagnosed with cancer, they knew they had to make the most of their time together and create new memories to cherish. 

When Sophie learned she was having a daughter, she knew the world would get a little brighter, even if it were for a short amount of time. 

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Lucy is furious her SIL wants to "steal" her baby name. Picture: iStock

My SIL said I can’t “monopolise” a name

Sadly, Sophie’s mum passed away last year, and she only got to meet her granddaughter a few times.

Although their time together was short, Carol was always close to the family and adored her grandkids. 

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To keep her mother’s memory alive forever, Sophie decided to name her daughter after Carol, but with a twist. 

“We swapped my mum’s middle and first name for our daughter,” she said on Reddit. 

So this means her daughter’s name would be Rose Carol*, rather than the other way around. 

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Now, Sophie’s family has always been “very close”; the five siblings frequently catch up and spend time with their rapidly growing family.

Fast forward two years, Sophie’s brother Michael* announced his wife was expecting their fourth child; the family was ecstatic when they learned the couple was welcoming a little baby girl. 

The news was shared at the family dinner, and while the family were overjoyed by the announcement, Sophie felt a little disheartened. 

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“While at a family dinner, my SIL also announced they planned to name the baby [Rose Carol] after my mum,” she said. 

Naturally, Lucy was “upset” by this name since it’s already been chosen for her own daughter. But when she brought this fact up to her SIL, it sparked a “full-blown argument”.

When Lucy “pointed out my daughter was already named [Rose Carol], my SIL asked why there couldn’t be two [Rose Carols] in honour of my mum,” Lucy said. No, there couldn’t be two cousins with the exact name born so close together. That was Lucy’s thinking, anyway. 

After a bit of back-and-forth, Michael and his wife “stormed out” of the restaurant, furious that Lucy would “monopolise” the name. 

There’s been a bit of friction in the family ever since, with relatives split down the middle and taking sides. Lucy’s husband and twin sister, Kate*, agrees that “it’s weird to have two kids with the same name. And that it’s unfair to my daughter”.

“My dad and other siblings do agree with me,” Lucy continued. “But think I went about it in an a**hole way.”

But things looked different from the other side. "My other brother expects me to apologise for monopolising a name and embarrassing my SIL," she said. "They said I can’t own a name and SIL can name her baby whatever she wants."

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A bigger issue at hand

While many people on Reddit agree that Lucy doesn’t own the name Rose Carol, they believe she has every right to take first dibs. 

“Yes, people don’t ‘OWN’ names, but you’re not trying to save a name for a FUTURE human being but one that already exists,” someone wrote. 

“It’s not unfair to your daughter; she was named first,” another agreed. “Everyone who knows her is used to calling her by her name.”

“Why don’t they just name them your mother’s regular name?” read a suggestion. “Your daughter is [Rose Carol], and their daughter can be [Carol Rose].” 

Then someone brought u a very interesting fact: It wasn’t that Lucy’s SIL was “stealing” her child’s name; Michael was naming his child after his own mother. 

“So wait, your BROTHER also wants to name his kid after HIS MUM, and you're saying no?” someone wrote.

“Because you keep saying SIL like it's some stranger?”

“Your brother has just as much right as you to name his kid after your shared mum,” a second person said. 

“It's definitely a little odd to have two children within the same family sharing identical names, but your SIL is right...you can't monopolise a name,” read a comment.

*Names have been changed

Originally published as My SIL is obsessed with one name for her baby, but there’s an obvious problem