'My friends got drunk at my baby's birthday party ... I'm so embarrassed'

“My baby’s father is barely speaking to me as he found the conduct of my friends so embarrassing, he is fuming at me for not saying something.”

Joel Erickson

3 min read

March 27, 2024 - 11:37AM

Family Life

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Is it ever OK to drink at a child’s birthday party?

That’s the question one mum had to wrestle with after admitting she was “upset” at a group of friends who used her baby’s birthday party as an excuse for a “p*** up” on wine and gin.

The new mum took to mumsnet to ask the masses whether she was right to be upset.

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“I had a birthday party at home for my little one, the invite was for a few hours into the afternoon/evening,” she wrote.

“Some games, bouncy castle, food and soft drinks planned, but nothing major.

“I invited family members and some of my friends and their children, not a huge amount of people.”

The mum said her friends got drunk and crashed on her sofa at her baby's birthday party. Picture: iStock

"They turned up with arms full of wine and gin"

Unfortunately, some of her friends took the invitation as an excuse to get drunk.

“I usually have a couple of bottles of wine in the fridge, maybe some spirits in the house, and these were all drunk,” she said.

“However, I was shocked to see the girls go out and turn up with arms full of wine and several more bottles of gin.

“I was asked ‘alright if we stop over isn’t it?’. I felt so awkward, I was put on the spot.”

The mum said she wanted the party to wrap up at the time specified on the invitation, but she was instead left with a bunch of ‘friends’ getting drunk in her downstairs living room while their kids “ran wild” all over her house.

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“I had older family members there and my in-laws, and I think they were a little shocked,” she wrote.

“It certainly didn’t give off a good impression at all with drunk people crashed all over my sofas.

“I know I should have had a backbone, but am I being unreasonable by being upset? I didn’t even drink myself, I might have had one glass of wine, so I’m not sure how anyone got the impression that I was up for or OK with that.”

"I'd be raging if I was your husband"

Other mums were quick to chime in, saying the mum needed to be more assertive in defining her boundaries.

“You can’t be a pushover who festers in annoyance without saying anything, and then complain later,” one person wrote.

“Plenty of parties for children involve alcohol, but not passing out while their own children are presumably unattended.”

“Surely they didn’t just help themselves to your bottles of wine and gin, so you must have said that was OK?” another mum said.

“If it wasn’t OK, you should have said ‘no’ then. They left the party to get more alcohol, again, you should have said that was not OK before they did it, or certainly when they arrived back with it.

“At the point they explicitly asked if it was OK for them to stay over, the answer should have been a big, fat no.

“They are your friends, so your responsibility. I’d be raging if I was your husband, and rightfully so.”

"I just felt so incredibly awkward"

The mum defended herself, saying she tried to make it clear she didn’t have room for anyone to stay the night.

“I did say I’m not sure where everyone is going to sleep, but the response was ‘it’s fine, we’re all happy on the sofas’,” she said.

“By this point, the people in question were already quite drunk having returned with all the wine.

“I should have been firmer and said no, I just felt so incredibly awkward.

“I’m so embarrassed, and my baby’s father is barely speaking to me as he found the conduct of my friends so embarrassing, he is fuming at me for not saying something.”