'My boyfriend won't give any of his inheritance to my son ... he's being selfish'

"I’ve lived here for 10 years which has prevented me from having an asset of my own, and I’ve contributed to upkeep and repairs. I think at the very least it should be 25/75."

Helen* and her partner John* have been together for almost 15 years after their first relationships ended.

They’ve lived together for 10 years, and both have a son from their previous marriage.

However, now that it’s time for them to both look at creating a will, it threatens to drive a wedge into their marriage.

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“Our current home is the home John and his wife bought together before their son was born,” Helen explained.

“When his wife died, the life insurance paid off what was left of the mortgage, covered his son’s uni costs and took them on holidays.

“When I got divorced we sold our marital home. I saved my half and lived in a rental for six years as I couldn’t afford a mortgage alone.

“The money I saved has since been used for my son’s uni costs and gap year.”

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Helen feels like her son is entitled to some of the money from her boyfriend's house. Picture: iStock

"It's prevented me from having an asset of my own"

Now that the pair are getting their wills in order, Helen isn’t happy with John’s plan for his home.

“He believes it should be left to his son entirely when we both die, his argument being that it was paid for first by his and his late wife’s hard work, so I haven’t actually contributed anything,” she said.

“I disagree. I’ve lived here for 10 years which has prevented me from having an asset of my own, and I’ve contributed to upkeep and repairs.

“I think at the very least it should be 25/75 though ideally 33/66.

“We have agreed though that however it is split, I should be allowed to continue living here if he were to die first.”

Helen said the couple also planned to leave everything they have separate to their respective children.

“Now I’m not sure if this is clouding my judgment, but his son recently inherited a seven-figure sum from his grandparents on his mother’s side with which he bought a house outright,” she said.

“I know that technically isn’t relevant, but it certainly influences how I feel.”

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"You should have talked about this 10 years ago"

Helen took to MumsNet with her conundrum, and the response from other users was very one-sided.

“I can see his point, the home was paid off by him and his ex wife,” one person wrote.

“You’re not married, and you never paid off any of the balance for the house, so I think it’s pretty fair really.

“If you’ve contributed towards upkeep and repair I could see maybe a 20/80 split.”

“I’m with him,” another person wrote. “Really, you should have talked about this 10 years ago, then he could have potentially sold it and you could have bought something together.”

“How has living in his house prevented you from buying your own property?” another person asked.

“Surely it would have helped as you had a roof over your head while a tenant could have paid your mortgage.

“I can see that it rankles as his son doesn’t ‘need’ the house, but I can fully understand your partner feeling strongly that he is the custodian of his late wife’s assets for his son.”

*Names have been changed

Originally published as 'My boyfriend won't give any of his inheritance to my son ... he's being selfish'