Mother-in-law versus wife stand-off: who’s in the wrong?

One woman has taken to TikTok to vent about her MIL feeling unwelcome in her home. Is she in the wrong, or is this just another case of a toxic MIL?

Having a relationship with one’s mother-in-law can be tricky for many to navigate, particularly if she’s overbearing, rude, and/or puts her son in the middle of choosing a side. 

One woman has taken to TikTok to vent her frustrations about her MIL.

In the video, the woman reveals that her husband told her that his mother didn't feel welcome in their home. 

The reason? She had failed to say thank you for the things her mother-in-law did around the house – things she didn't even ask for. 

This revelation left the daughter-in-law stunned, leading her to question the dynamics at play within her own family.

The TikTok video quickly garnered attention, with nearly 4,000 comments and over 400,000 likes. 

Are you following us on TikTok? Head to Kidspot Official to watch our latest videos

A shared frustration 

It's clear that this story resonates with many, as people shared their own experiences and thoughts on the situation.

Some commenters pointed out the idea that doing "favours" but expecting thanks can make these actions ungenuine: "Doing "favours" but expecting thanks is not a selfless act, it's transactional." 

Another woman added, “This is why I’m glad my mother-in-law lives 2 hours away and has NEVER been to my house.”

Others shared their own personal struggles with challenging in-law relationships or emphasised the importance of open communication, “If she's going to be passive-aggressive and talk behind your back, she IS unwelcome.”

RELATED: TikTok user reveals her MIL’s wedding intervention

This is why I’m glad my mother-in-law lives 2 hours away" Source: IMDB

Not all MIL’s are created equal

However, not all the comments were negative. Some viewers shared heartwarming stories of their close and loving relationships with their own mothers-in-law, highlighting that such relationships can indeed flourish.

"I’m so lucky that my mother-in-law is the sweetest kindest person and like a second mother…everyone’s horror stories scare me lmao." 

Another shared, "I was one of the very lucky few. My mother-in-law was an absolute peach. I loved her dearly, and she genuinely loved me."

RELATED: My MIL’s Pit Bull is why I won’t leave my kids with her

Think you have a toxic MIL?

A toxic mother-in-law is someone who always seems to bring negativity and strife to the family. 

This person can be overly controlling, judgmental, and disrespectful, frequently meddling in their child's marriage or parenting choices.

They often don't respect personal boundaries and expect everyone to cater to their wishes. 

This toxic behaviour can create tension and emotional turmoil, causing conflicts in relationships.

Do you have a monster-in-law? Source: New Line Cinema

How to deal with a toxic MIL

You don't have to be best friends with your mother-in-law. 

Set clear boundaries with your spouse, allowing them to maintain a relationship without involving you. 

This can relieve the pressure to please her and improve your marriage.

Avoid going the extra mile to please a toxic mother-in-law. 

Stop making every event about her if she's consistently negative. 

Some toxic mothers-in-law prioritise their own interests over their child's happiness. Show compassion toward your spouse, who may be affected by this. 

Establish emotional and physical boundaries to reduce tension. Being less readily available communicates that she's not the only important person in your spouse's life.

And perhaps the hardest, forgive any wrongdoings to find peace and avoid arguments with your spouse. 

Forgiveness doesn't mean she must be in your life; it's about your peace of mind and a healthier marriage.

Originally published as Mother-in-law versus wife stand-off: who’s in the wrong?