‘Literally a crime’: Daycare worker mocks child’s name

A daycare worker has shared one child’s name that is so bizarre, the girl’s grandmother refused to use it.

A daycare worker has shared a child’s name that she says is so bad, the girl’s grandmother refuses to use it.

Posting about her workplace on Facebook, the woman said that “most the kids had pretty normal names”, Kidspot reports.

There was one, however, that is literally and metaphorically a crime.

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“The grandma called her by her middle name because the baby’s legal first name is...Phelonie,” the carer said.

Phelonie, pronounced like, yes, Felony.

We would love to know what the inspiration was. Was her dad’s name Felon, and they just added a Y to make it sound feminine?

Was the mum bingeing Breaking Bad in her third trimester?

Where the parents inspired by the Republican candidate in this year’s US presidential election?

We will never know, which is a shame.

In any case, obviously the name is highly problematic for a number of reasons – as commenters on the worker’s post gleefully noted.

A daycare worker has shared a child’s name that she says is so bad, the girl’s grandma refuses to use it. Picture: iStock

The overwhelming sense from social media users was one of utter confusion.

“Why would you do that to your kid?” one asked, which is surely the question on everyone’s mind.

Others were concerned about the girl’s passport and birth certificate bearing the name, her school enrolment, and any future forms to do with her earning a living.

Our concern is what her nickname will be. I pray no first-grader thinks of “Phallic Phelonie”, because that sh*t will stick.

But, the story gets better.

One teacher actually claimed she also had a student with that name.

“When I (was a substitute teacher), I had a Phelony,” she commented on the post.

“I purposely mispronounced it because I could not imagine anyone would name their kid ‘felony’. The entire class corrected my pronunciation. I felt so bad for the adorable little girl.”

An Australian mum wanted to give her baby a strong male name – so came up with ‘Holden Commodore’. Picture: TikTok

The woman said in a since-deleted video she had no regrets over the unconventional moniker. Picture: TikTok

We’d even go so far as to say that Phelonie makes other hilarious/dreadful baby names look sweet by comparison.

A couple of years ago, an Australian mum wanted to give her baby a strong male name – so came up with ‘Holden Commodore’.

Isabella Veronica Hayes shared her experience in response to a call-out for people who had “baby name regret”.

However, Ms Hayes said she actually had no regret – despite the fact the approach she’d taken to naming her son was anything but common.

“My son’s name is Holden Commodore,” she began in the since-deleted TikTok clip.

“Originally we wanted to call him Commodore, but that’s illegal in Australia (because Commodore in this country refers to a very high-ranking Navy official).

“So, we called him Holden Commodore. He’ll be one soon, and I do not regret it at all.

“People will begin copying me.”

Indeed they may have...but we’re not sure the same can be said for Phelonie.

This article originally appeared on Kidspot and was reproduced with permission

Originally published as ‘Literally a crime’: Daycare worker mocks child’s name