'I'll throw your Barbies away!': The triggering threat I overheard a mum use

"That feeling knowing something I love could be removed, because I didn't do something fast enough or good enough."

I’ll be the first to admit, I was atrocious at keeping my room tidy as a child.

It came much to the displeasure of my British boomer mother. 

But, there was one threatening sentence I never dared to call her bluff on. 

"I'll throw away all of your toys." 

Want to join the family? Sign up to our Kidspot newsletter for more stories like this. 

RELATED: The bald-faced lie parents of older kids insist on telling me 

"I thought this was a boomer thing"

The feelings from the threat of being forced to part with my precious Bratz dolls or Tamagotchi still haunts me. 

That something I love could be removed, because I didn't do something fast enough or good enough. 

Those were my possessions, my source of happiness and the things that I placed value in. How I was parented and how I parent are two things I’m constantly assessing and comparing. 

Currently I am beginning to teach the importance of packing away toys to my own son. At almost two-years-old he can successfully put away his wooden blocks when asked.

He might tip them straight back out again - but Rome wasn’t built in a day.   

Nonetheless, I figured my generation of parents had quietly and collectively agreed that weaponizing toys for punishment was something we wouldn't do. 

It only generates pathological people pleasers, trust issues and anxiety - me! 

Luckily, a recent OzTag game proved that wrong. It totally reaffirmed how I want my son to engage with his toys. 

Image: iStock

RELATED: Mum slams teen daughter for $315 holiday spending act

"I’ll throw all of your Barbies into the trash" 

While watching the game I noticed a mother trying to head home, but her young daughter quickly turned it into mission impossible. 

She wanted to stay and play.  The mother had made several attempts to get her to see reason. 

She'd whipped out the classic "one, two, three".  She attempted to fake leave her.

But it was the final method that got me.

“If you don’t come right now I’ll throw all of your Barbies into the trash bin when we get home,” the mother warned in a low, angry tone many of us know too well. 

Now, I want to be clear - I’m not judging this mother. She was doing her best while clearly at her wits end.

I could see how desperate she was to just get her tiny tot to comply. 

I truly doubt she meant any malicious intent and that she would ever follow through. She was just doing what she'd been shown.

It just shocked me that we are still doing this - even though we hated when our parents did it to us. 

Why would you embarrass her? 

Firstly, those are her daughter’s things. Why are we intimidating our children to get them to do what we want in 2025?  

Secondly, the punishment didn't fit the crime. The young girl hadn’t been playing with her barbies, so what lesson would she be learning?  Threatening to take them away isn’t a direct consequence for refusing to leave when asked. 

Lastly, why would you embarrass her like that in public? 

The fear that took over her little face as she raced after her annoyed mother was a feeling I could remember from my own child. 

When I mentioned it to my husband on the drive home he said he’s noticed his friends use the same threat toward their children. 

I truly believe that this is not something we should equip them with when they enter the big wide world. If I don't comply with my employer's requests my boss doesn’t remove my lolly jar from my desk. We have a conversation. 

By giving them something to love and taking it away we're not foundering respect that is mutual. We'll only build a lack of distrust and fear. 

I realised then and there that I’d never target my son's toys when it comes to consequences. 

I saw myself reflected in that little girl’s reaction. It’s not a reflection I want to see looking back at me in my own child.  

Originally published as 'I'll throw your Barbies away!': The triggering threat I overheard a mum use