‘I offended my sister but I don’t care - she is ruining her kid’s life’

"He's reclusive and it's obvious from just looking at him that he's skipping meals." 

Image: iStock.

An Aussie woman’s desperate plea for advice about her nephew has gone viral after she shared her observations on the AITA Reddit forum.

She describes how her sister and husband have a 10-year-old boy who she calls ‘Jimothy’ that she looks after on occasional weekends and mornings.

It was about a year ago when she first noticed a subtle and disconcerting change in his behaviour.  

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"The accent got thicker"

“As of about a year ago, we started to notice that Jimothy was beginning to develop an American accent and we are Australian. 

“Small kids have phases, and so I didn't want to make it ‘a thing’. But over the next few months, the accent got thicker and Jimothy became more irritable. 

“Me and my husband brought this up with my sister, who said that Jimothy wasn't very grumpy when with her. He then started losing interest in almost all activities that he used to enjoy.

"Again, this was a concern for me as every weekend it got worse. He would complain of being bored but when we offered an exhaustive list of all the things we could do with him, he said no to every single one.”

She said at the start of this year when he returned to school, his classmates asked when he had moved to Australia as his US accent was so strong.

“My husband and I were really wondering what was happening.”

It was at his birthday party a few months later when she realised what was really going on.  

“He was on an iPad, scrolling some kind of short-form content that I did not recognise. His friends wanted to play with him, and he just did not notice they were there. People were giving him presents, and he acted like he was inconvenienced for having to turn the iPad off. 

“Never before had any of my nieces or nephews reacted like this upon me giving them money and delicious treats.

“I told my sister that something was going on, and that Jimothy is obviously not in a good way. She seemed very offended that I was ‘questioning her parenting choices’ as she put it, and she decided that me and my husband had to stop babysitting Jimothy.”

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"He was noticeable skinnier"

At a more recent family gathering the woman says that Jimothy was completely glued to the iPad. 

“He was noticeably skinnier, which I suspect was because he was forgetting to eat in favour of iPad time.

“I had to talk to my sister and her husband. I told them what I thought, that a year ago Jimothy was an energetic child who got along really well with everyone, and now he's reclusive and it's obvious from just looking at him that he's skipping meals. 

“My sister denied any changes in Jimothy's behaviour, but her husband did admit that I was right to some extent, and Jimothy's friends had stopped trying to hang out with him because he said no 100 percent of the time. I told my sister she was wrecking Jimothy's life by continuing to let this iPad stuff happen. 

“She started shouting at me, and I walked out of the party.”

Hundred of people commented on the post to advise the OP that no, she is not the a**hole in this situation and clearly just cares about her nephew. 

“The boy is obviously addicted to the iPad which is a huge concern,” said one respondent. 

“If his parents won't listen, perhaps OP can bring it up to his teacher/school or some other person who perhaps can either get the parents to see there is a real concern or get some kind of children's health agency involved?”

Another agreed: “The kid obviously is deteriorating. I wouldn't be surprised for him to grow up with depression and anxiety when dealing with social interactions at school and at work. It's good that you and your husband care about Jimothy. At the end of the day, you tried to help out so let them handle the upcoming issues that will surely arise in the future.”

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"The iPad may be a coping mechanism"

One insightful user suggested that while the ipad use is an issue, it may be more of an effect and not the root cause of his problems.

“If he’s suffering from anxiety and/or depression, the iPad may be a coping mechanism and a sort of ‘self-treatment’ of symptoms. It seems like a professional may be able to give them all some healthier tips in navigating normal pre-teen anxiety. 

“This is the age when social dynamics start really changing and avoidance of the whole thing is not the best way to deal with it, but may not be the cause. In other words, just taking away the iPad and nothing else may be harmful.”

Finally, one was adamant it was not too late to step in and get help.

“ Her son needs help, and he needs it now. She made a mistake as a parent, but right now it's still correctable. But it won't be if she keeps ignoring it. She just needs to realise that before it's too late.”

Originally published as ‘I offended my sister but I don’t care - she is ruining her kid’s life’