Advice Needed: I wanted to move tables because of a noisy baby; my friend refused

"I knew if this baby kept yelling, I wasn't going to enjoy myself. She didn't know why it bothered me so much. She told me to not be an a**hole, it's just a happy baby."

Photo: iStock

"Who was in the wrong here? Was it me, or my friend?"

Advice Needed

A friend and I went to Happy Hour at a brewery for drinks. We got a table and as we walked up, there was a baby at the next table. He was eating some mac and cheese and just yelling, over and over for the whole minute we were near the baby. He seemed happy, but I don't like babies yelling, crying, or really making noise. It really bothers me.  

I asked my friend if she wanted to move tables and I told her I didn't want to be near a yelling baby. She said no, she thought the baby was cute and funny. She said, “happy babies making noise like that is the best.” I told her I'd really like to move, I expressed that babies shouldn't be here. 

I knew if this baby kept yelling, I wasn't going to enjoy myself. She didn't know why it bothered me so much. She told me to not be an a**hole, it's just a happy baby. I started gathering my things and told her I was leaving. I thought she was being very inconsiderate of how I felt, so I just left her there. Was I wrong or my friend? 

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Trust us, the parents are probably having a worse time than you. Cut them some slack. Photo: iStock

Jordana’s Advice 

There are a few things at play here. So let's address the issues one step at a time. The elephant in the room, you leaving your friend. That’s not a good friendship. Yes, you expressed that you were bothered by the noise, however I can’t imagine it was only the baby being loud in this venue. We have to co-exist with the greater population. 

If you were at a library or in a quiet carriage on a train, I’d be inclined to agree with you, but given the baby wasn’t screaming and you were in a brewery it’s a little out of the ordinary to expect a parent to keep their child quiet.

Granted, given you went to a brewery there would be some expectation that it would be kid-free, but these days pubs and clubs welcome families - so you’d be better off checking ahead of time, to avoid disappointment.

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Is it possible your friend was trying to get you to get over your disdain for baby noises? The reality is, there are more and more children being born every day. And it’s your choice not to have kids, but if you’re thinking about having them, please don't think that yours will be born with a ‘mute’ button. I’ve been searching for it since my eldest was born, and I still can’t find it! If your friend doesn't want to move, engage in a deep conversation, that will usually drown out any peripheral noise that is bothering you. 

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A little advice for the future, knowing that baby noises, happy or sad, set you off, I would recommend not going out to restaurants between 5pm-6pm, which is peak family eating time. It’s loud, there’s food being thrown on the floor, parents are disciplining the kids while quiet-fighting with each other, others are negotiating dessert and screens are being strategically dispensed.  Ironically, yes, this overlaps with Happy Hour. But hey, let the parents have their cheap drinks too, they need it more!

If Happy Hour is your thing, stick with places in your CBD, where you're very unlikely to find a baby next to you. 

I hope you and your friend work it out, maybe opt for a drink after 8pm next time! 

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Originally published as Advice Needed: I wanted to move tables because of a noisy baby; my friend refused